Crushcrushcrush
by crazy-wild-and-free
Summary: The meeting with the Volturi took a different turn causing Bella to not return for a year. When she can finally go back to Forks she finds that not everything is how they were when she left. Can she patch things back up with the ones she left behind, with one in particular? Or will she lose all the reasons she truly has to live and lose all that's left of herself in the process?
1. Prologue

**_So, this idea absolutely refused to leave my head. It came to me the moment I woke up today and it's relentless to be let out. Hence, I'm here posting another story. I have my work cut out for me, but I'm gonna do my best._**

**_I want to warn everyone before you read this that this will definitely be a bit darker than my other two stories. So, bare with me, please. Thanks and enjoy._**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even, though, part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Prologue**

_My whole body froze as I heard the sound of the old, rusted door being opened ever so slowly and as quietly as the person or thing opening it could. On the outside, I was frozen, but on the inside I was shaking so bad. I knew what time it was, even without having a clock anywhere near me. My body was use to the same thing at the same time every single morning, afternoon, and night._

_Tears fell freely from my face. I tried my best to wipe them away and keep more from falling. I knew what the tears would cause. It was already bad enough I was in this situation, it'd be worse to not try and stop something that would make it even worse. And, I knew for a fact tears would only make it worse. I learned it the hard way, first-handed._

_I shut my eyes tightly curled into fetal position in the corner of the room and I waited for what I was sure was to come, but to my complete and utter surprise nothing came. I listened as intently as possible and heard nothing, except a small amount of shuffling footsteps. The shuffling footsteps were getting closer and closer._

_I nervously swallowed the lump in my throat as the shuffling footsteps stopped beside me. Taking a deep breath, I looked up. I was shocked to find a human woman standing above me. At this point, I couldn't put a name to her face even if I tried. I was too worn out both physically and mentally to do so._

_"Come on," the woman whispered to me bending down and taking my arm in her hand, helping me off the ground._

_"Oh god," I moaned out loud at the sharp pain that coursed through me the moment I put any pressure on my cramped up bones._

_"Shhh!" the woman exclaimed putting a hand over my mouth. "I'm getting you out of here, but you need to keep quiet so we don't alert them and screw this up. Understand?"_

_I nodded quickly. I was suddenly jumping for joy inside as soon as I heard her say that she was getting me out of here. I was so relieved. It had been way too long since I'd seen the world. I wanted so badly to just go home. I wanted to see my dad. I wanted to see Billy. I wanted to even see the entire pack, Paul included. And, most of all I wanted to see my Jacob, my sun. They, especially him were the only things I thought of that kept me fighting for so long._

_"I'm gonna sneak you up to the lobby. Do you remember how you got in here?" she asked me walking me silently and cautiously out of the room and down the hallway._

_I nodded. I did. How could I not? I had dreamed of the pathway to freedom for so long now. It was all I dreamed about, really. Well, and **him**. __The only good part of each day was finally succumbing to the immense pain and drifting of into dreamland where I could see **him. **Where I could feel safe, if only for a while at a time._

_Once we got to the lobby, the woman turned to me. "I know it hurts to move on your own, but I can't take you any farther without possibly getting caught myself. I have a friend waiting outside for you. Go with her. She'll nurse you back to health, physically and mentally and then you can go home...to Jacob," she said his name with a smile._

_"How do you know..." I started to ask._

_"You always said his name in your sleep," she answered still smiling. "Now, go! Hurry! You don't have much time before they realize you're gone."_

_I nodded and stumbled forward. The pain was unbearable, but I pushed through it. Freedom was so close. Pain be damned for a while. The adrenaline that came with being free very soon and thought of freedom fueled my fire and after what felt like a horrible hike up the snowiest and steepest mountain, I found myself outside falling into the arms of another woman, who I assumed was the friend the first woman had said was waiting for me._

_"Miss, stay with me," the second woman, a short, petite blonde, said. "I'm Bridget," she introduced herself putting an arm around me to hold me up._

_"Bella," I replied in a faint whisper trying to keep my eyes open._

_"You're safe now," was the last thing I heard before I passed out._

That was about eight and a half months ago. I physically healed within a month and a half, well as much as I could heal. But, mentally it took me about seven or so months. I'd never be completely healed mentally, but I was close enough. Not surprising, mental scarring was so much worse than physical scarring could ever dream of being.

Now I was finally ready to go home. To see the ones I foolishly left behind. To see the ones who did nothing, but love me and help me through the hard times. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been only a year ago. My, oh, my how I've changed. Surviving a horrible ordeal was all it took for me to grow up quickly and finally realize just how much living really meant to me.

I was finally going home...to live my life as if there was nothing more I wanted to do, which really there wasn't. My view on life was different now. Life is too precious to give up willingly. And, I'd remember that until the very day that I died.


	2. A Heated Argument

_**Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites everyone! It means so much to me!**_

_**A couple of things I need to mention, though, before you start reading...**_

_**1.) This chapter is pretty heavy. It contains some curse words and it doesn't end on a good note.**_

_**2.) This story isn't going to feature a Jake who simply forgives. Except some rough times for Jacob and Bella.**_

_**3.) The flashback in the beginning of the chapter is from when Bella leaves with Alice to go save Edward.**_

_**4.) Let's pretend before Bella left she grew a backbone and came to her senses enough to know that she does feel something for Jake back.**_

_**Alright, I think that's it. You've been warned. Read and enjoy!**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even, though, part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Chapter 1**

_"This isn't me choosing him. I just can't let him kill himself when there's no reason," I said hoping Jacob would believe me._

_"Bella, please," Jacob pleaded his eyes baring into my own. "Don't go," he whispered turning his head away from me._

_The way his voice broke made me break inside a little, too. A big part of me wanted to stay with him. But, another part of me couldn't bare to have the guilt of Edward killing himself over me be a weight I carried on my shoulders for the rest of my life._

_"I promise I'll come back for you, Jacob," I said with a smile. I put my hands on his face cupping his chin making him look at me. "I'll be back for you," I assured him standing on my tippy toes to place a chaste kiss on his lips._

_Then, I turned and got in the car. Alice wasted no time putting the car in drive and driving off._

_I looked back to see Jacob standing there as Alice and I drove off. My heart broke seeing the broken look on my face. I knew then that he was finding it hard to believe that I would really return to him. I would. I made him a promise, and I would keep it. I would be back for him._

_If only I had known then what I knew now._

I felt tears well up in my eyes as that one single memory replayed in my mind. The taxi stopped outside of my old house, Charlie's house. I paid the driver and got out, bags in hand. The memory stayed with me. It always had. Every night I had replayed it in my mind. It's the only thing that kept me going. I looked up at the house and then to the driveway where surprisingly my truck was still parked. Charlie's cruiser wasn't there, so I figured he was at work still.

The memory kept pushing at my brain until I suddenly felt the need to go see Jacob. My Jacob. I had promised him I'd be back for him and I had kept that promise. I was here now. I was back for him. That settled it. I quickly ran up the front porch, grabbing the hideaway key from it's hideaway spot. I went upstairs to my old room, put my bags down, grabbed my truck keys and ran back to my truck, locking and slamming the front door behind me.

I had to go see him. I had to see Jacob. My Jacob. I just hoped he'd be as happy to see me as I was to see him. But, it had been a year since I had last seen him. Since I had made my promise to come back. Since I left him to go save Edward. I could only imagine what Jacob thought when I didn't return. He probably thought I was dead. Or that I had broke my promise to him. Or that I chose Edward over him even though I said I wasn't choosing Edward.

Oh, god. What if he hated me?!

That question rang through my mind and repeated itself over and over again the whole way to La Push. Part of me was yelling to turn back and save myself from whatever was to come. But, the other bigger part of me was yelling that I made a promise and I had to let him know that I had kept it. I came back for him. Even despite the bump in the road that kept me from returning sooner.

By time I came back to reality, I was in the Black's driveway and my truck was off. I hadn't even realized I was there. I was apparently subconsciously driving the whole way there. It was then that everything suddenly felt even more real. I was about to see Jacob for the first time in almost a year. Oh, god, how I missed him. I missed him more and more each and every day. I could only hope he would feel the same way I did.

Looking up out of my windshield I saw the pack, including Jacob, coming out of the woods. My breath caught in my throat as I watched them closely, Jacob mostly, walk closer and closer. The weird, anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach grew the closer and closer they all got. I couldn't take my eyes off of Jacob. I was surprised he hadn't seen my truck yet, although, he seemed to be paying very close attention to whatever the other guys were talking about.

After a few more seconds, it finally happened. Jacob looked forward and stopped dead in his tracks. He'd seen me. Oh, god. He'd seen me. And, he didn't look too happy. His face was turned down in a frown and I could see his fists clench at his sides. The others stopped, too, and looked in the direction that Jacob was frozen and looking in. I wasn't surprised that none of them looked too happy either. I had hurt their friend. Even, if it wasn't intentional.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all, the rational part of my brain told me. Maybe I wasn't ready for this like I thought I was. But, the other emotion driven part of me knew that I wanted this. I had to do this. I had to see him. Even if he did hate me like the look on his face made it seem. Alright, Bella, you can do this. Get out and face him. Maybe he'll listen, understand you, and not hate you. Yeah, what did those chances look like?

Before I could talk myself into truly leaving, I took a deep breath, grabbed the door handle and opened my door. Cautiously, as if I was walking into a lion's den...well, I was walking into a wolves den in a way, but no pun intended...I cautiously got out of the truck and closed the door behind me. I just stood there nervously biting my lower lip, but not being able to stop looking at Jacob. My Jacob.

We both stood there frozen for God only knows how long just staring at each other. Then, suddenly, Jacob was stalking towards me. I held my breath the whole time and didn't let it go until he was standing right in front of me, fuming. If our lives were a cartoon there'd be smoke coming out of Jacob's ears and I'd be hoping that a giant piano would fall from the sky and crush me, putting me out of my misery.

"What the hell are you doing here, Bella?" he seethed making me jump.

I had not been expecting his out break. I knew he was mad, but never before had he, even when mad, raised his voice at me.

"I...I..." I stuttered but nothing coherent really came out of my mouth. Oh, god. I was freezing up. No, not now, Bella. Tell him why you came back. Tell him you kept your promise and came back for him.

"Did you not break my heart enough already?" he asked angrily. "Did you come back to finish me off?"

Where was all of this coming from? This was not my Jacob. My Jacob would never say such things to me. Well, not in that tone of voice. he wouldn't.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

"You should've never come back," he hissed.

"I came back for you!" I finally managed to get out.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Oh, really? You came back for me?"

"I kept my promise," I whispered not making eye contact with him. My heart was pounding in my chest like it was a part of a punching bag. I felt like I was a dam that would break at any moment.

"A year later and you come back for me. A year later you come back claiming you kept your promise."

My eyes widened. What did he just say? And, just like that something that I wasn't counting on breaking inside me broke. My rage broke out. How dare he?! "Claiming? I'm not claiming! I mean it! I came back for you!" I exclaimed practically yelling. "How dare you suggest such a thing!" I accused jabbing him in the chest with my finger.

"How dare I? How dare I, Bella? Are you serious?" he fumed to the point where I was surprised that he didn't just phase right then and there. "A whole year. A whole year of not hearing from you. A whole year of not knowing if you were dead. Or if you had chosen Cullen over me even though you said you wouldn't. A whole damn year, Bella."

"I shouldn't have come here," I said suddenly back to whispering again. What else could I say. I didn't know what else there was to say.

"You're right. You shouldn't have," he agreed still mad but slightly quieter now.

It was then that I realized I couldn't let us end on this note. I had to do or say something to get though to him.

"I'm so sorry, Jacob," I apologized. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I came back for you. I know it's been a year, but I came back for you. I swear to you, I did. I kept my promise. Please, you have to believe me," I begged almost not above getting down on my knees and begging.

"I believed you before. And, it was a mistake. I can't believe you now," he said still mad, but his tone was slightly less than a yelling tone.

I was shocked. I didn't know what to say to that. Well, I did, but I couldn't say it. I couldn't just come out and tell him why I didn't call. I couldn't. Not now. Not when I was still emotionally healing. Not when he was so mad that I wouldn't be able to get him to listen to me at all. It was pointless to try and say anything to him right now. To try and get him to understand anything right now.

"You have to believe me, Jake," I said still not wanting to leave on such a sour note.

What he said next fueled the fire. My rage returned and I fed off what he said.

"Just go back to your precious Cullen's, Bella. Save us all more trouble," he hissed jumping to conclusions.

How fucking dare he?

I didn't realize that I said that out loud until his hands were gripping tightly on my upper arms. I knew there'd be bruises in the shapes of handprints there later.

"You and I both know, it's him. It'll always be him. I'm not good enough for you. No matter how many lines you feed to me and how many times I believe them," he hissed forcing me to look up at him.

I was sure my eyes were just as black with anger as his were.

Angrily, I twisted and turned out of his grip. Once out of his grip I slapped him as hard as I could across the face. "How fucking dare you, Jacob Black? How dare you accuse me of lying to you?! I told you I wasn't choosing him and I didn't! I came back for you damn it! Why would I do that if I chose him?!"

"It wouldn't be the first time," he hissed.

"What the hell's that suppose to mean?!" I asked balling my hands up in fists by my side.

"You know exactly what I mean, Bella! That leech left you and I put you back together again. And, then the second something bad is going to happen to your precious leech you go running leaving me with a promise that you didn't follow through with."

"I'm back now!"

"Yeah, until he calls again or something comes up with him. Then, you'll be gone again. You're predictable when it comes to him, Bella. And, you can't say any different."

"Yes, I can. I won't...I can't go back to him. Even if I wanted to I..."

Jacob cut me off. "I don't want to hear it Bella. I don't want to hear about you and him or anything that happened with you two!"

My body shook violently and I suddenly felt the need to slap him again. "You have no idea what I've been through!"

"And, you have no idea what I've been through!" he countered. Well, he did have a point there.

It was then that I went to slap him again, but this time he caught my arm before I could follow through. I yanked my arm from his grip. Or more so he let me yank my hand from his grip. But, either way I was giving up on trying to keep us from leaving things on a sour note. I was over this conversation or heated argument was more like it.

"You know what? Screw you, Jacob Black! When you finally get your head out of your ass and will actually listen to me instead of yelling at me...you give me a call," I hissed before throwing my truck door open, getting in, and leaving an angry Jacob behind.

In my rearview mirror, I saw him turn and run for the woods. I was sure he was about to phase. Good for him. Run off your problems, Jacob. Let me know how it works out for you.

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So, there you have it, Chapter 1! Thoughts? Are you shocked by Jacob's reaction to Bella being back? What do you think of this Bella? She's a lot more badass with her words in this one. There's a reason for it that will be revealed later on.

Review, please?


	3. It's Never Too Late

_**Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites everyone! It means more to me than you'll probably ever know!**_

_**So, I'm thinking I'm going to be creatively evil, yet nice at the same time. I'm going to put some clues into each chapter about Bella. I won't say what about Bella because that would give it all away, so I'll just say look out for some Bella clues and let's see if anyone can guess what I mean. Happy reading and lucky guessing!**_

_**Oh, and one more thing...just a heads up, but starting next chapter I'm changing the story title to Crushcrushcrush. So, that's why everyone who's got the story alerted will have that title in their e-mail sometime soon.**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Chapter 2**

I probably broke a hundred or more different speed laws, limits, or whatever on my way back to the house. I was so angry that I barely even noticed that I was pushing my ancient truck to it's maximum until it started making weird sounds. Then, I'd let up on the accelerator, my truck would calm down, and before I knew it I was repeating the same actions over and over again. I'd probably come to regret it later when my truck needed to be fixed. But, at this moment I couldn't even bring myself to care. I was too angry to think straight.

By time I pulled into the driveway, I was shaking so hard with anger. I quickly turned off my truck and got out. Maybe a walk would cool me down. I walked towards the woods without a second thought. I made sure not to stray too far that I'd get lost. I walked through the woods for at least ten minutes. I didn't trip once. I was no longer clumsy Bella. It had been eight months or so since my last clumsy accident. I hadn't had one since. It was as if I could walk on water now, and I wouldn't fall in and drown. The old me would have. That was the old me's luck.

The new me was invincible. Well, not completely. But, enough that I was safe in my own skin for once. I felt unstoppable like nothing could break me. Well, except apparently one. I was usually in control of myself and especially my rage. But, Jacob Black had managed to force it out of me. I didn't know how in the world he could do it, but he did. I had been in a few heated arguments sort of like the one I had with Jacob in the past eight months, but never did the person I was arguing with manage to make me that mad. I had felt like I was on fire.

One minute, I was so happy to see him again. I had missed him dearly and I had come back for him. The next minute, I wanted to rip his head of. And, I knew I could do it if I really wanted to. So, obviously, I didn't really want to after all. It would've killed me if I had. I needed to learn to control my rage around him now if I wanted to be around him more. Well, that's more of an if he wants me to be around him more. But, at the moment, I highly doubt that he would.

I knew I hurt him by not returning for a year after promising him I'd return to him. It wasn't as if I had purposefully stayed away. I had no choice. I couldn't let him see me like I was. He'd probably have tried to do something stupid had I returned then instead of now. And, I couldn't imagine him getting hurt or killed. There would be no point in living in a world without Jacob Black. Not for me anyways. My Jacob. My sun. My best friend. He was everything to me whether he believed it or not.

I'd rather have him hate me and still pay some sort of attention to me than not have him around or have anything to do with him every again. I'd rather pretend for him, than to ever have to forget him completely. I just couldn't do it. His black hair. His eyes. His nose. His lips. Oh, those lips. His chest. His abs. His arms. I can still remember how his arms felt wrapped around me. So warm, like they were my own personal security blanket. And, most of all his heart. No matter what I did or put him through I know he'll always love me. I regret so much ever having let him go. I wish I could take it all back and stay with him instead of going to Volterra. Everything was so much simpler back then.

After another ten minutes or so, I turned to head back to the house. I wanted to make dinner for Charlie before he got home. It'd be my homecoming gift to him. It'd be a start to making up for just leaving. I wouldn't be surprised if he grounded me for leaving. 18 or not, I kind of deserved it if he did. And, even though, I'm 18, if he did ground me, I'd respect it. It's not like I have anything else important to do. Or someone else to talk to. Jacob hated me right now. Being grounded wouldn't even be as close to bad as Jacob hating me is.

My thoughts were broken instantly by the sound of a loud growl coming from behind me. I turned around quickly to see what the source of the growl was. I instantly froze when I literally came face to face with those dark intelligent eyes I had missed so much. Well, one part of him that I missed so much. My breath caught in my throat and I instinctively reached my hand out slowly. I had the sudden urge to run my hands through his russet brown fur. When he saw my hand move forward he backed away from me.

"No, please. Don't," I said finding my voice.

He just stood there and stared at me.

"I'm sorry for earlier," I apologized and I really did mean it hoping that maybe an apology would get through to him.

He still didn't move. But, he didn't lift his gaze from me either. So, that was sort of a good thing.

I don't know why, but I felt the need to continue. I figured maybe since he was in wolf form and he couldn't yell at me that I could try and get through to him this way. It was worth a shot.

"Will you stay and listen to me?" I asked slowly taking a step forward to get closer to him. "Please, listen, just for a minute or so," I tried to reason reaching my hand out again.

This time he didn't back away. I sighed a sigh of relief and smiled as my hand came in contact with him. I slowly ran my hand through his fur first and slowly made my way to his face. I ran my hand gently over him and his eyes closed. We were getting somewhere at least. This was better than him in human form and us having another argument.

"I really did come back for you," I said slowly and his eyes snapped open.

He growled at me.

I quickly yanked my hand back and stepped backwards away from him. "Why won't you believe me?" I asked trying to keep my voice from breaking.

It killed me inside to know that he didn't believe me. That he wouldn't. That he couldn't. What had I done to him? I wished more than anything now that I could travel back in time. I should've stayed with him. I should've never left for Volterra. I should've left Edward in the past and let Jacob be my future. But, it was too late. What's done is done and there's no turning back. I would just have to make the best out of what I got.

"Please, Jake."

He shook his head and before I knew it he turned and he was gone.

I stood there frozen for what felt like an eternity. I assumed that meant my apology from earlier hadn't been excepted, after all. I screwed up. I screwed up big time. He didn't believe me. He wouldn't believe me. And, it was all my own fault. If I had never went, I would've never...no, no. I can't relive that right now. It was mainly my fault, but it still didn't mean that I deserved what I had gone through. No one deserved what I had gone through. I wouldn't even wish what I'd gone through on my worst enemy.

Realizing, it was starting to get darker out, I turned and made my way back home. I felt like I had been hit by a bus on the inside. My heart was shattering into pieces. All I could think on repeat was that I did this to myself. That it was all my fault. That I had no right to feel good about myself right now. I had caused it all on myself. I deserved to feel how I was feeling. I now knew how he must've felt for the past year. It served me right.

When I got home, I pushed everything that had happened to the back of my brain long enough to make dinner and set the table. Just as I finished getting everything ready I heard voices on the front porch and a key in the door. I held my breath for a moment before walking into view of the front door. Here goes everything. The reunion with my dad. I hoped he was happy to see me.

As soon as the door opened and my presence was made aware of the talking stopped. My dad and Billy both were in the doorway looking like they had just seen a ghost, which in a way, okay maybe I was a ghost. A ghost from the past that is. A ghost from the past that was now here in the present. More than likely to stay.

"Bella?" Charlie asked almost as if he didn't believe that he was seeing me.

"Hi, dad," I said quietly with a brief smile.

When he didn't say anything back I knew I had to break the silence it was awful.

"I made dinner. Consider it a "I'm so sorry. What kind of daughter am I? I should've called, but I didn't. And, I regret it. I'm so very sorry," dinner," I said breaking the awkward silence.

If I thought that was bad, dinner was worse. You couldn't even hear a pin drop. It was that much more quiet than usual.

After dinner, Charlie still said nothing. He just went into the living room and turned on the tv. I couldn't blame him. He was still getting over the shock of me being back. I knew with time he'd come around, so I didn't push him to talk to me or anything he wasn't ready for.

I was cleaning up the dishes from dinner when I heard Billy behind me.

"You might not want to go see Jacob yet."

A day late and a dollar short was what I was thinking, but I replied under my breath while focusing on the dishes, "Too late."

"You already went to see him?" he asked me surprise evident in his tone.

I nodded and kept my attention on the dishes. "Yes, I did. I also ran into him in the woods. And, neither meetings went as well as I would have liked," I frowned.

"What happened?"

"Some words were exchanged and we ended on a pretty sour note," I confessed. "You know, I'd rather not talk about it right now."

"Alright, that's fine," he said.

I sighed a sigh of relief when he dropped it. But, then tensed up and frowned when he spoke again.

"He's finally happy again, Bella. I don't want you to ruin that for him."

I turned around quickly bracing myself with my hands on the sink behind me. "What makes you think I'd ruin that for him?" I asked feeling guilty enough as it already was.

"You destroyed him when you left," Billy stated bluntly not even trying to sugar coat it. "He wasn't his self for months. He waited for you to return for months. Day after day. Night after night. But, you never did."

"I know I hurt him when I left. And, I regret hurting him so much. I wish I could take it back, but I can't!" I exclaimed trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

"Why'd you come back?" he asked suddenly.

I contemplated lying, but then decided against it. Maybe if I told enough people that I came back for Jacob like I promised that maybe he'd finally start to believe it. "Jacob," I whispered swallowing the lump in my throat. "I promised him I'd come back for him...and I did." Then a hard hitting question formed in my head. I looked at Billy and asked, "Am I too late?"

Billy didn't answer right way. I could see that he was trying to figure out what the best thing to say was. He finally answered, "It's never too late."

That wasn't the answer I was expecting. But, it was a better one. I'd take it.

"But, it won't be easy. You can't just come back and expect him to take you back with wide open arms."

I nodded in understanding. "I know," I said looking down at my feet trying to hide the tears that managed to escape my eyes.

"You should come to the bonfire tonight," he suggested taking me off guard.

My head jerked up. "What?"

"There's a bonfire tonight. You should come," he repeated.

"But, Jake will be there. He hates me right now," I argued.

"If you want to prove to him that you really came back for him, then you can't run away when the going gets rough. Stick around no matter how much it hurts you and prove to him that you're willing to do anything it takes."

I listened intently, processing every word he said in my head. He was absolutely right. I had a lot to prove and this was a good start.

"Alright, I'll come."

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So, there you all have it, Chapter 2! Thoughts? Review, please? What did you think of Billy and Bella's talk? Billy's advice to Bella?

Next chapter Bella has second thoughts, but talks herself down from them. And, a talk with Charlie leaves Bella confused as to just how much things have changed. What happened with Jacob while she was gone and why are both Charlie and Billy telling Bella the same exact things?


	4. Secrets That Can't Be Told

_**So, as you can all tell I changed the story title like I said I would last chapter. This title, which is also the title of a Paramore song, is much better at explaining a sort of aspect to this story. So, if you want to listen to the song while reading to get your mind into a more understanding perspective of the story. Just a suggestion. It really does help.**_

_**Oh, and another thing...with how this chapter turned out and how I'm writing this story differently than my other two...the bonfire will be next chapter instead of this chapter like I said last chapter, I'll go back and fix that. So, again, the bonfire will be next chapter, not this one. I'm doing this thing with this story where because there's so many things to take in, I'm writing a certain amount of words for each chapter.**_

_**Plus, this way there's a pretty big possibility that if things go how I'm hoping and want them to go that I'll be posting a new chapter either every day or every other day. So, make sure to be on the look out!**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Chapter 3**

I was panicking. I was in full blown panic mode. My hands were shaking, I was gasping for breath, and I was holding back buckets of tears. It was all too much. I knew this had to be done. I knew I had to face the problems I caused for myself. The bonfire was a must whether I wanted to go or not. I had something to prove, and I would prove it no matter what. I had to.

Billy's words from earlier replayed in my head for the hundredth or more time.

"_Stick around no matter how much it hurts you and prove to him that you're willing to do anything it takes._"

My happiness and _**his **_happiness depended on it.

I had to do this. I already said I would. I have to prove to Jacob mainly, but to everyone else that I was sticking around for the long haul. I'm not here just to up and leave and hurt him again or anymore than I already had. I was here to stay this time. I was here to win him back one way or another. I couldn't and I wouldn't leave and hurt him again. Even if it meant hurting myself in the process, which I knew it would, especially when thinking of another thing Billy said and all of the possibilities of what he said could mean.

"_He's finally happy again, Bella._"

What exactly did he mean by that? Had Jacob found someone new? That was the worst case scenario I could think of, so, of course, that's the first thing that came to my mind. I always did have a way of thinking of the worst thing first. It was just how I was. I considered it a flaw of mine. One of my many, well few now. I was more flawless than I once was. Although, I wouldn't purposefully go around flaunting it.

I tried to push the thought to the back of my mind. I was already fighting myself about going to the bonfire to begin with. If I continued to think about whether Billy had meant that Jacob had met someone new or not, and was happy because of it, by his comment earlier, I knew for a fact that I'd end up talking myself out of going. And, that was the exact opposite of what I needed to do.

So, I pushed the thought to the back of my head and went upstairs to change for the bonfire. I changed into a cute top that I made sure had long sleeves, a pair of jean shorts, and a pair of flip flops. I'd be at the beach, sneakers weren't exactly beach dress code. I'd changed a lot in the past eight months. Living with Bridget in Miami was a change from what I was use to. But, after the first few months I had gotten used to the sun again and the beach actually became a place I could enjoy and relax at.

Once I was ready to go and had gotten myself into a calmer piece of mind, I went downstairs. I was on my way out when I heard Charlie say something from the living room. I paused in place and turned to see him standing there nervously with his hands in his front jean pockets. Naturally, I felt kind of awkward and crossed my arms over my stomach, not because I was in pain, though. It was just a natural instinct of mine now-a-days for any reason really. It wasn't easy for people to know what I was thinking or feeling anymore because of it.

After standing there for what felt like forever saying nothing, Charlie broke the silence.

"I'm sorry for my reaction earlier," he apologized.

"It's fine," I assured him.

"It's just that I never heard from you and I...I never thought I'd ever see you again. But, I came home and there you were," he explained.

I nodded in understanding. "I completely understand dad. You don't have to explain yourself. I should've never left in the first place, but I did. And, I regret it. Believe me, you'll never know how much I regret it," I paused when my words brought back the memory of the past.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach as image after image poured into my head. No, no, not now. Not now. This can't be happening. My arms wrapped tighter around myself now and this time it was because of pain and not just because of the awkwardness of a situation. I did my best to push those memories out of my head for the time being. I couldn't deal with them right now. I just couldn't. It was still too soon.

Suddenly, I was brought back to reality when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I saw Charlie standing over me a look of concern on his face. It was the same concerned look he had on his face all during my zombie phase when Ed..._he _left me and before Jacob put me back together. Oh, Jacob. No, not now. No tears. Not now. No, no, no. I can't. I won't. Not freaking now.

"Bella, are you okay?" Charlie asked.

I nodded my head even though my actions obviously told otherwise.

"Bella, come on get up," he said grabbing my hand,

At first, what he said confused me. What did he mean get up? It was only then that I realized that the flashes of my memory had literally knocked me down. I was on my knees in the middle of the foyer with my arms wrapped around myself. Well, that explained the concerned look on Charlie's face. I was in a similar position to what I was during that zombie phase of mine.

Quickly, I stood up with a little help from him. "Sorry, I don't know what happened," I tried to excuse myself.

"Maybe you should stay home," Charlie suggested. "You don't seem well enough to go to the bonfire."

I shook my head. "No, no. It's nothing. I'm fine. I'm going," I told him.

"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yes, I'm fine," I answered him. "I have to go."

"You don't have to go, Bella," he stated.

"No, I really do have to go," I argued. "I have to. I have to prove to him that..." I trailed off suddenly feeling another feeling of maybe this wasn't the right thing to do after all.

"Prove what to who?" Charlie asked not quite sure what I was going on about.

I didn't reply.

But, then it was as if Charlie had had an epiphany.

"Oh, okay," he said.

I looked at him questioningly.

"What exactly do you have to prove to Jacob, Bella?" he asked me.

My eyes widened. He was a lot smarter than I gave him credit for. Well, isn't that how it's supposed to be. Parents are suppose to be older and wiser than their kids. Especially Charlie. Since he was not only my father, but the police chief of Forks as well. It was his job to know things that others didn't and to catch on to certain things quicker than most.

"That I came back for him," I confessed in a whisper avoiding eye contact with Charlie afraid of the look he'd have on his face due to my confession.

Charlie's response both took me off guard and confused me.

"It won't be easy. You can't just come back and expect him to take you back with wide open arms."

Those words were extremely familiar. Where had I heard them before? Oh, right. "That's exactly what Billy said to me earlier," I said once realization dawned on me.

Charlie looked away from me this time.

"Dad, what is it? What aren't you telling me?" I asked feeling panicky again.

"I wish I could tell you, but it's not my place. Just be careful, Bella," was all he said.

"What is with all of these secretive, confusing comments?" I asked feeling like the last person in on a really great prank.

"Just know that things aren't how they use to be, Bella. That's all I can say without over stepping my boundaries. It's not up to me to tell you."

I just looked at him. What was with this secretive talk? It's like everything he said had some sort of double meaning. Billy, earlier, too. The more I thought about what they were both saying the more my panicking began again. There was no doubt in my mind that something had happened with Jacob while I was gone. But, what...that scared me more than anything else in my entire life ever had.

"I'm sorry that I can't tell you, Bella," Charlie said.

"And, why can't you?" I asked finding my voice.

"Because, I promised Billy I wouldn't," he answered.

"And, why wouldn't he tell me?" I asked.

"Because he thinks it'd be best if you found out from Jacob himself," Charlie said with a hint of sadness in his tone. "And, I agree."

"Why?" I don't know why, but the question forced it's way out of my mouth.

"Because we both agreed that if and when Jacob wanted you to know then you would. Because it really isn't our place to tell you."

And, that was all I needed to really know. There was no way I was getting anything out of my dad. Whatever it was that he couldn't tell me was apparently something that there was only one way for me to find it out. The only way to find out was to go to the bonfire. And, just hope with all the hope I could find in me...that whatever I found out tonight...wouldn't kill me inside.

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 3! Not too much going on, but just enough to make you wonder what the heck is going on. So, what's going on with Billy and Charlie saying the same things? What's with the secretive warning talk? And, what exactly is the secret that Billy and Charlie both agree Jacob should be the one to tell her if he wants to?

Thoughts? Review, please?

Next chapter; The bonfire (for real this time). Bella finds out what Billy and Charlie meant by their secretive comments. And, someone from Bella's past comes to Forks.


	5. Not Hers Anymore

_**Thanks again for all reviews, favorites, and follows. Each and every one of them gives me a boost of confidence when it comes to my writing! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!**_

_**So, I'm not really sure I like how this chapter turned out all together, but I think it's good enough to post now. So, read and review and let me know what you think of it please.**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine. Oh, I also happen to own my OC's Bridget and Haley, too!_

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Not too long later, I pulled into the parking lot of First Beach and parked. There was no turning back now. It was now without the possibility of never to go along with it. It was just now. A simple choice, or really not a choice it was just something to do where there was no way to turn back. I could fight myself all I wanted to now, but it wouldn't back any difference. I had already come to far to just take the coward route and run and hide. Backing away now would be something the old Bella would do. But, I'm no longer that Bella anymore. I'm the new Bella who sticks around even when the going gets rough and even if I do feel like almost going bungee jumping without a bungee cord to bring me back up.

"Come on, Bella. You can do this," I told myself out loud. "Things will never work out and get better for you if you don't get through the worst of it all first. After all it'll always get worse before it gets better."

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself out of the truck. I wasn't staying long, I had told myself. I would make my presence known, stick around long enough to make some sort of point to anyone who'd pay attention, and then I'd leave. What else was there for me to do? I was like a sitting duck waiting for the fall. If I knew my luck, it would happen sooner or later. It'd be surprising if it was later. I was known to be a magnet to the worst things possible the second I stepped into a room or certain area. And, walking onto the beach where the bonfire was, was no different.

As it turns out silence and glares really are worse than words. It wasn't hard to figure that out when the only things I got from each and every member of the pack was silence and a glare. A part of me definitely somewhat deserved that treatment because had I never left in the first place I would've never been kept away for too long and nothing would've had time to get screwed up. However, another part of me was screaming that it didn't deserve this treatment because yes I made some bad decisions, but I already paid for those decisions in one of the worst ways possible.

Unfortunately, though, at the end of the day, I had no control over what treatment I got. I wasn't the a part of the pack. I didn't control what they did. So, I just had to suck it up and deal with whatever treatment they gave me. No matter how painful. I was doing this for a bigger and better reason. I was putting myself through all of this, even though, I could easily run and hide. I was doing all of this for Jacob. It didn't matter if he knew it or not now. Sooner or later, I was sure he'd know it all too well. He'd come around. He always does. Well, at least, I hope he'll come around this time. He seemed pretty set in stone earlier today during our very heated argument upon my return.

Oh, god. What if he never came around? What if all of this is for nothing? What if he hates for life? What if...oh, god. All the what if's! I'm killing myself here. Stop, Bella! Stop! Just stop! This isn't helping anything. It's just making things worse without even purposefully doing so. That's not what was needed here. I needed to keep calm and deal with this like a normal human being. Yeah, right. If only. But, being a crazy, panic-filled, lunatic wasn't going to help anything. Not by a long shot. It'd only make me seem more incapable of handling such situations than I already am.

About half an hour passed and during that whole entire time I felt so awkward. I was ready to just up and leave, but I hadn't seen him yet. After I saw him, I'd leave. I just wanted him to at least know I came. And, I wanted to tell him why I came. Luckily, for me that time came sooner rather than later. It was just as I finally said screw it and turned to leave when I ran right smack into none other than Jacob himself.

A year ago it would've hurt like smacking into a brick wall, but now I barely even noticed any pain from smacking into his hard body.

"Why'd you come?" he asked looking down at me not even bothering to take this conversation away from the bonfire.

I was sure that everyone was paying attention to us now. A small part of me wanted to say nothing with others around. But, a bigger part of me said screw it. Pack mind would have them knowing what was said sooner rather than later anyways. I wanted to have some control over who knew what about certain aspects of my life. Or, at least, I wanted to make myself believe I had some control over it.

"Whatever it takes," was the only thing that would allow itself to come out of my mouth as I looked back up at him.

"What?" he asked confused.

Of course, he wouldn't understand what that meant. Way to go with the cryptic talk, Bella.

"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I really did come back for you," I explained myself further.

"Bella..." he started and by his tone I knew he was going to try and argue with me over what I said and tell me that I didn't mean it.

I cut him off instantly. "No, I mean it," I told him. "Whatever it takes," I repeated refusing to back down from it. "Even if that means coming here when most of the people here don't exactly like me."

Before Jacob could say something else I heard a voice from behind Jacob. When I looked past him, I saw a young petite, brunette walking up. Based on her skin tone I was willing to bet she was Quileute.

"So, you must be Bella," she said walking up to me and Jake as if she owned the beach.

"Maybe, who's asking?" I asked wondering just who the hell this girl thought she was.

She smirked at me as she put her arm around Jake's waist and laid her head on his chest. "I'm Haley. Jake's girlfriend."

And, with those two words I instantly felt like I was going to vomit. Of course, he'd moved on. I now understood the cryptic comments Billy and Charlie had spoken earlier. Jacob had a girlfriend. Oh my god. What the hell? Was I that unlucky that the one person who kept me from giving up all those months had moved on while I went through hell? Was I really that unlucky? Obviously, a power from higher above had it out for me or something. The past year of my life was just one hit after another. But, honestly, weirdly enough this was by far the worst hit I had taken.

I was broken from my thoughts by Haley's voice. "You shouldn't have come back," she told me.

"That's not any of your business," I replied trying to keep my tone even despite deep down wanting to launch myself forward and rip her face off.

"Oh, but it is," she said. "You're not wanted here," she spat.

"That's not your call," I told her feeling it become harder and harder to keep myself at bay.

I wanted to hurt her so bad, but I knew it would only make things worse. I had to keep myself calm. Well, as calm as I could in this situation. My sanity depended on it.

And, my heart started pounding against my chest in pain. But, not because of what she said. But, because of the fact that Jacob just stood there and didn't say or do anything. I couldn't believe he was going to just let her say such a thing in such a tone and not freaking do or say anything about it.

I was so shocked that I didn't even realize that Haley was still talking at first. I heard voices, and looked up to see her mouth moving, but that was it. I didn't hear a sound. And, I didn't even want to. My eyes flickered to Jacob and my heart sank into my stomach. His face hadn't changed, nor had his stance. He just stood there as if nothing was happening. As if his girlfriend wasn't telling me off. As if his girlfriend was all he could see and that I was nothing to him anymore. What happened to the love he felt for me? What happened to my Jacob?

But, then it all clicked. It now all made sense. Jacob was gone. My Jacob was gone. He was replaced by another Jacob. He was replace by Haley's Jacob.

I opened my mouth to say something to Haley, who had yet to shut up yet, to cut her off, but someone else beat me to it.

"Leave her alone!" I heard a familiar voice hiss from behind me.

It took me a moment to place a name to the voice, but when I did, her name came out more as a shocked question than anything else, "Bridget?!"

I turned my head to see her walking this way, her wavy, blonde hair flowing freely behind her. She was a walking, talking, breathing bombshell. And, she definitely stood out being a blonde and all, what with everyone else on the beach being dark haired. But, that was the last thing she would ever focus on. At the moment, her focus was fully on Haley.

"You're going to feel like a complete and total bitch if you're ever lucky enough to find out why she was gone. Even though, it's none of your damn business to begin with," Bridget hissed at her just as she stopped walking when she was arm to arm with me.

"Who are you?" Haley asked surprised evident on her face having not expected someone to come to my defense.

"Someone you don't want to mess with," Bridget answered in the tone she always had when she was standing up for me.

Over the past eight months, we had become like sisters. And, everyone knows, you don't screw with one sister without getting on the others bad side. The way Bridget was reacting right now was just added proof to the fact.

"Bridge, it's fine," I told her when I finally could speak again.

If I had to keep myself calm and do nothing even though I was practically drooling at the bit to do so, then neither could she.

Bridget shook her head and disagreed. "No, it's not."

Of course. She was as stubborn as I was. "Seriously, Bridge! She's not worth it," I assured her knowing that the last part would calm her down.

For a moment Bridget said and did nothing, but then she nodded her head and agreed, "You know, you're right. She's really not."

Suddenly, wanting nothing more than to get the hell away from there, I grabbed Bridget's hand.

"We should go," I said turning and walking off pulling Bridget behind me without a single goodbye or glance back to see what I was leaving in my wake.

"So, who was that girl?" Bridget asked when we got into my truck.

I frowned and banged my head against the steering wheel. "Jacob's girlfriend," I answered, my voice full of sorrow.

"Oh shit, Bell," Bridget said her voice suddenly matching the sorrowful tone of mine.

"He's her Jacob now," I whispered trying to will the tears away from falling.

"I'm so, so sorry, Bell," she said scooting closer to me on the seat and pulling me into her arms.

"Yeah, I know you are, Bridge," was all I could say back. The only other vocabulary I had at the moment was, "He's her Jacob now."

It was then and there that I finally lost the battle of fighting back my tears. Tears now fell freely from my swollen eyes and I cried quietly into Bridget's shoulder. She held me closer to her and let me cry for as long as I needed. I was so thankful that she had shown up when she did. God knows what would've happened if she hadn't. We sat there in that same position for what felt like an eternity.

"So, why are you here?" I asked when I finally managed to bet my bearings together.

"When you didn't call like you said you would, I had a feeling that you would need me, so I came as soon as I could," she told me.

I pulled away wiping at the tears on my face. "You were right. I do need you. Thanks for coming, Bridge," I smiled briefly at her.

She smiled back at me. "What are sister friends for, Bell, right?"

I nodded in agreement. "Right."

"Do you want me to drive," Bridget offered.

I shook my head. "No, that's fine. I can do it."

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 4! Thoughts? Review, please? I felt bad for Bella writing this chapter. Especially the parts about Jacob no longer being her Jacob. :( I'll be posting the next chapter either tomorrow or Tuesday!

I know most people aren't too keen on OC's, but I hope you'll all give Bridget a chance. She's really the only true friend Bella has right now as you can tell. And, that's exactly what Bella needs right now. A friend she knows she can count on to help her through tough times, and Bridget has already proved that she can be that friend to Bella.

Next chapter; A rare sunny day and a kinda run in with Bella/Bridget and the pack at the beach. Or mainly a certain member of the pack, and it's probably not someone you'd expect.


	6. Close Calls

**Thanks again for the reviews, follows, and favorites!**

**Some of you aren't liking how each chapter is so short, but I'm doing it for a reason. If I keep each chapter in the 2,000 word range I can update more often. I'm hoping to be able to update every day or every other day and limiting myself to a certain amount of words each chapter makes it easier and more possible for me to do just that. Hope that clears up the short chapter issue. At least this way you don't have to wait too long for updates.**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine. I also happen to own Bridget!_

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**Chapter 5**

The next morning, I was unpleasantly woken up by the repeated feeling of the bed sinking in next to me, making my body bounce up and down as if I were at a playground riding on a seesaw. I had been through this time and time again so without even opening my eyes I knew it was Bridget jumping up and down on the bed like a little kid in a candy shop.

"Come on, Bell. Get up!" Bridget exclaimed not once ceasing from jumping up and down on the bed.

"No, let me sleep," I moaned shoving my face into my pillow.

Bridget wasn't taking no for an answer. "No, Bell, you get up now," she insisted kicking with gently in the back.

"Why?" I asked agitatedly.

"We're going to the beach. You need a relaxing beach day," she answered kicking me again to assure me that she wasn't going to leave until I gave in and woke up.

"What's the point?" I asked grouchily turning my head slightly so that my voice wasn't all muffled. "There's no sun."

"Actually, there is," she disagreed cheerfully. "Your dad says it's a rare sunny day and that we should get out and enjoy it."

That got my attention. "You talked to my dad?" I asked rolling over and sitting up on my elbows.

When we had gotten home the night before Charlie was already in bed. So, I hadn't gotten to introduce Bridget to Charlie, which I'll be honest...I was grateful for it. I couldn't imagine introducing them myself and then having to get into the whole conversation about how I knew her and how long we'd been friends, etc. Although, knowing Charlie he wouldn't have wanted to know all those details. But, I can never be too sure.

"Yeah, when I went down to make breakfast and a cup of coffee I ran into him," Bridget told me finally ceasing her jumping "We had a nice talk while eating breakfast."

I nodded. "What time is it?" I asked stretching my arms and yawning.

"About 11:00," Bridget answered stepping off of the bed.

My eyes widened. "Really?"

Bridget nodded her head.

"I've never slept that late before," I recalled.

Bridget shook her head side to side at me in disagreement. "You always do when you're sad or mad."

I was silent, not sure how to reply to that.

"You finding out that Jacob has a girlfriend hurt you," Bridget spoke up when I didn't reply still after a minute or so.

I flinched at the remember and suddenly had the urge to go to the corner of my room, curl up in a ball, and just die alone.

"You don't like dealing with pain, so as a defense mechanism you sleep the hurt off," she explained giving me a look of apology at her first statement.

I smiled briefly at her and rolled my eyes. "Of course, you'd know this."

Bridget shrugged her shoulders with a smirk on her face. "It's my job."

"I know it is"

"Alright, well now get up. We have to get a move on," Bridget said patting me on the leg before turning and leaving the room so that I could get dressed in peace.

**~CCC~**

Less than an hour later, Bridget and I were laying out at the beach soaking in the very rare rays of the sun. Bridget was so sure that laying out would get my mind off of my revelation from last night. And, in a way it did. However, in a way it also didn't. The thought of Jacob having a girlfriend...that he moved on without me...oh, god. No matter how hard I tried the thought always some how found it's way to the front of my mind. It was awful. But, I couldn't give up hope. I couldn't give up the hope that somehow, someday things would get better and Jacob and I would somehow make it back to each other.

I knew deep down with all of my heart that we were meant to be together. It was my memory of him that had kept me alive. And, I refused to let go of him so easily. There had to have been a reason for the memory of him and the memory of him only kept me alive. It just had to mean something, right? Or was I just returning to my old self who over thinks everything? I really hope that it's not the latter for once. It had always been him and it would always be him. No matter what. I had just been too blind to see it sooner than I did, when it was already too late. I was so sure of it.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I heard some yelling coming from a little ways down the beach. Lifting myself up on my elbows, I turned to look towards where the yelling was coming. I gasped as I saw a ball of sorts coming my way. Quickly, without a second thought I reached my hand up and caught it perfectly. Then, I stood up with it. I froze instantly when I realized what I had just done and when I saw who was coming to retrieve the ball, or wait...hubcap? What the hell? Oh, of course, what a surprise?

Then, reality kicked in again.

"Oh god," I muttered under my breath trying not to panic.

Bridget sat up on her forearms and looked over to see what was freaking me out. "Oh," was all she said.

"What if he saw me catch that ball?" I asked the hubcap shaking in my hands.

"What would be wrong with that?" Bridget wondered not understanding my problem with it.

I looked down at her as if she were just suppose to know what I was talking about. I had told her the stories of how I use to be so much of a klutz. "I'm suppose to be clumsy Bella remember?"

Bridget nodded as realization then dawned on her. "Oh, okay. Well, just take a deep breath, Bell. It'll all be fine."

"I sure hope so," I said expecting the worst, but hoping for the best.

Please, God, let that catch have went unnoticed.

"Hey, Bella," Seth said casually as he stopped in front of me.

"Hi, Seth," I replied with a brief smile.

"Nice catch," he grinned.

Damn it! Of course, he noticed. Just my luck. Please, don't say anything else about it, though. There has to be some higher up power who will take some pity on me.

"Umm...thank you," I smiled nervously.

He gave a single nod of his head. "You're welcome." Then he looked behind him and back at me."Sorry about the hubcap being thrown over here. Somebody...I won't mention any names...COUGHPaulCOUGH...likes to throw the ball extra hard at times to prove his strength. As if he needs to." Seth rolled his eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh and reply. "It's his ego."

Seth laughed, too. "Won't disagree with you there."

"Bell," Bridget said suddenly reminding me that she was there, too. "Are you going to introduce me?" she asked in a voice that I recognized instantly as her "how hot is he" tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, right," I said not even trying to hide the fact that I forgot about her being there. "Bridget this is Seth. Seth this is my friend Bridget," I zoomed through the introductions. It was always the most awkward part for me.

"Nice to meet you, Bridget," Seth said smiling down at Bridget.

"Nice to meet you, too, Seth," Bridget smiled back. Then, under her breath, too quietly for the human ear to hear, she said with a smirk, "Nice view from down here."

My eyes widened and I kicked her leg as I scolded, "Bridget, watch it!"

Seth was suddenly looking at me curiously in awe.

"What?" I asked growing uncomfortable with the way he was staring at me.

"You heard her say that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

I froze like a deer in a headlight and thought to myself. "Oh shit!" Cover blown. Nice going, Bella. How was I suppose to get my way out of this one?

Luckily, Bridget did it for me. "She knows me too well. It's almost like we're connected in a freaky sisterly way."

Seth didnt say anything for a few second or so, but finally nodded. "Oh, well, that makes sense."

Not wanting to take my chances again, I quickly changed the subject. I had a burning question that I needed an answer to. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"Why are you being so nice to me when no one else is?"

Seth thought about it for a moment. I figured he was trying to think of a good way to answer without offending me or something. "Because even though I know you hurt Jacob, I also know that you wouldn't do it on purpose."

Well, that wasn't the answer I was suspecting.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked curiously.

"Although, I didn't and still don't know you all too well, I know enough to know how close you and Jacob were and how much you cared and still care for him."

This was so not how I had expected this conversation to go. At all. "You do?"

Seth chuckled. "I may be young, but please give me more credit than you do. I pay attention," he told me.

"Oh, yeah. Of course, you do."

Seth looked behind him and then back to me. "Well, I should get back before the guys realize I've been gone this long."

I nodded in understanding. "Okay."

Seth turned to leave and return to the others at the other end of the beach. "Oh, and Bella?" he stopped and turned back to me.

"Yeah?" I wondered.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said quietly.

Once again I was caught off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked having a feeling that I knew what he meant, but was still in denial about what had happened the night before.

"You know what I mean," Seth said nodding his head back behind him towards the pack in hopes that I'd understand.

I understood he didn't want to mention it in hearing range of the pack. And, he didn't want to mention _her _name in front of me knowing it would hurt me more than I already was. Jacob had moved on and I had missed my chance. But, I still couldn't help, but hold on to the hope that something would change before long. After all I was 19 and he was 18. We both still had many more years for something else to go right in our lives. At this point, I could only hope that somehow things would chance and we could be together in the future.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks," I said with a brief smile as a way to hide my sad frown.

"You're welcome," he replied giving me a matching smile.

I laughed holding up the hubcap. "You probably want this back."

"Oh, right."

I threw it to him perfectly, once again, without thinking it through.

"Nice throw, Bella," Seth complimented.

I had caught myself too late yet again. "Damn it, Bella!" I screamed at myself.

"You okay, Bella?" Seth asked concerned.

"Yeah, just fine," I answered maybe a little too quick.

But, if my quickness to answer made Seth curious about anything, he didn't say. "Alright. Well, I'll see you around, then."

"Okay."

Seth looked down at Bridget and grinned. "Pleasure meeting you, Bridget."

Bridget looked up at him. "The pleasure was all mine, I'm sure," she spoke flirtatiously.

I kicked Bridget again as Seth left to return to the pack.

"Ow, careful, Bell!" Bridget exclaimed as I apparently kicked her too hard. "That hurts," she said confirming what I already knew.

"Well, then get your mind out of the gutter," I told her rolling my eyes. "Besides he's too young for you," I informed her remembering that Seth was one of the youngest ones in the pack.

Bridget scoffed and rolled her eyes right back at me. Sunglasses or not, I just knew she did. "Oh, please, Bell. My mind stays in the gutter."

Well, I couldn't argue with her there.

"And, he is?" she asked referring to what I said about him being too young. "What a shame," she said with a sigh.

"What am I going to do with you?" I muttered before resuming my place down on the blanket next to Bridget.

"I ask myself that same question almost every day," Bridget laughed.

"Not surprising."

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 5! Thoughts? Anyone catch on to the two hints about Bella that I put in there? Review, please?

Next up; Bella and Bridget run into Emily at the store in La Push and Emily invites them back to her house. And, Bridget accidently let's something slip without realizing it. Maybe it'd be wise for Bella to just come clean to Bridget about the pack and their super hearing?


	7. Whipped, Definitely Whipped

_**As always thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows! They all keep me writing more than you'll ever know!**_

_**I almost kind of feel like this chapter is all over the place. But, I'm almost positive that I got to write everything that was necessary. So, go ahead and read and I hope you all like it.**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine. I also own my OC's Bridget and Haley!_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

It wasn't much long after Seth returned to the pack down the beach from Bridget and I that I decided that I was over the beach for the day. All it had taken was one look over in the direction of the pack and one view of Jacob and Haley being all happy and lovey dovey with each other and just like that I was done. My chance at the beach making me happy for the day was over. It had flown the coop. It was a long lost message of sorts in a bottle that was now floating away from me through the water. The slight happiness was nice to enjoy while it lasted.

I quickly stood up gathering my things.

"What's wrong Bella?" Bridget asked moving her glasses from over her eyes to her forehead as she looked up at me in concern.

I looked down at her and without even saying anything she knew. She looked behind me towards where the pack and Jacob and Haley were and frowned. Without a word, Bridget got up and started getting ready to leave, too. I was so thankful to have her as my friend, and that she was here with me. God. I don't even want to begin to imagine what I'd be doing right now if she weren't here. Just the thought of her not being here was enough to make me shiver.

A few minutes later we were in the truck pulling out of the First Beach parking lot. Sensing that I wasn't in the right state of mind to drive, Bridget had taken my keys from me, despite my stubborn protests of I was just fine and I could drive. She got into the driver's seat deciding that actions spoke louder than words and she wasn't in the mood to fight with me right now. As it turns out, she definitely made the right choice.

"I hate how they did this to me!" I exclaimed punching the dash of my truck hard, but thankfully not hard enough to leave a dent. "It's their fault! They did this to me! They ruined my life! They ruined my chance at happiness! It's their fault! Their freaking fault! All their fault!"

Bridget said nothing. She just kept her eyes on the road and listened to me as I vented my anger and frustration.

"That should be me with him! Not her!" I cried out. "It's just not fair!"

Bridget reached over with one hand and started rubbing my shoulder soothingly. "I know it's not fair. I wish there was some way to turn back time, so that things could've happened differently."

I nodded in agreement tears still pouring from my eyes. "If only."

"I really wish I had stayed," I whispered wiping the tears from my eyes and face.

"I know you do," Bridget replied her voice matching mine. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was trying not to cry, too.

A few minutes of silence went by giving me time to calm myself down before Bridget broke it.

"So, I was just thinking. We're already here in La Push," she said leaving me to wonder if she had a point.

"Yeah, and?" I asked.

"There's a store here, right?" she asked back.

I nodded.

"Well, then, let's get our shopping done here and then we can go home and fix dinner. That way we don't have to drive to Port Angeles and back. Less time and gas wasted."

I shrugged my shoulders. She was driving. "Yeah, I guess that'll be okay."

"Great."

**~CCC~**

About 15 or so minutes later, we were at the general grocery store. Another 10 minutes later, we were on our way to check out. Standing in the check out line, I wasn't paying much attention to anything around me. Bridget had insisted that she pay for the groceries since it was her idea to go grocery shopping in the first place. Normally I would've argued with her, but I was too drained for so many reasons to do so.

A voice caught my attention while Bridget and I were at the check out line.

"Bella, is that you?" the familiar voice asked.

My head turned quickly in the direction of the voice and I smiled. "Emily," I said walking over to her. "Yes, it's me."

She pulled me into a hug and I hugged her back. "It's so good to see you again," she said pulling away seconds later. "I didn't know you were back."

Of course, she didn't. It didn't surprise me that the whole pack would rather not acknowledge me at all. And, not telling Emily, on Sam's part was one way of not acknowledging me. It all made sense. Therefore, I couldn't argue with it. Well, I could, but it wouldn't do me any good.

"Oh, you didn't?" I asked feigning as if I didn't know why. "I got back the other day," I told her.

"Are you here to stay?" she asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah, I am. I have a lot to make up for."

Emily smiled. "That's good to hear."

"Alright, Bell. I'm ready to go when you are," Bridget said walking up to Emily and I grocery bags in hand.

"Okay," I said looking from Emily to Bridget. "Emily, this is my friend, Bridget. Bridget this is Emily," I introduced them.

"Nice to meet you, Emily," Bridget smiled at her.

Emily smiled back and nodded. "You, too."

"Well, it was nice seeing you again. I think we should be going. We have to make dinner," I said kind of bummed to cut the reunion between Emily and I short.

"It's still early. Why don't you come over to my house for a while. We can catch up on lost time," Emily suggested.

Oh, Emily. I really wanted to take her up on her offer, but at the same time I wasn't so sure it was a good idea. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Emily," I said slightly voicing my fear.

"And, why's that?" she asked curiously.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I just don't feel like I'm welcome there anymore," I admitted.

"Nonsense."

"But..." I started to protest.

Emily looked around to make sure no one was around and then leaned in closer to me and asked in a whisper, "Are you still vampire girl?"

I wasted no time answering, "No. No, I'm not. Definitely not."

Emily's smile brightened and she stepped back. "Alright, then. They'll come around sooner or later."

I was doubtful about that. "You sure?"

Emily nodded and leaned in closer again to explain. "The only reason the pack isn't happy with you right now is because you hurt Jacob and they think it's because you chose the Cullen's over him and them. Once he comes around they will, too, because they won't have the whole vampire girl excuse to use." A moment later she corrected herself on the vampire girl statement. "Well, Paul, in particular," she laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh, too. Out of all of the pack, Paul was definitely the one who voiced the most how much he hated the fact that I was once a vampire girl.

"I don't get it," Bridget spoke reminding me that she was standing there beside me.

"I'll explain it later," I promised her.

"Okay."

**~CCC~**

Bridget and I were in my truck, me driving this time, following Emily back to her house. After a little more convincing, Emily had finally gotten me to agree to come back to her house for a while. Now, I was in the truck with Bridget, who was dying to get some answers. I could feel the excitement rolling off of her onto me. It filled the cab of the truck in a way that didn't seem possible.

"You have some explaining to do," Bridget said practically jumping in her seat.

"Explaining about what?" I asked pretending to be clueless.

"How does Emily know about vampires?" Bridget asked getting straight to the point suddenly serious and no longer jumping in her seat.

Alright, blunt questions and answers it would be. "Because of the pack," I answered bluntly like Bridget had asked.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "The pack?"

I nodded. "Jacob and his friends."

"The pack...they're...wolves?" she asked always one to guess right the first time. If anyone knew her supernatural terms and could figure out what someone was right away without any bluntness, it was definitely Bridget.

"You guessed it," I said with a small smile on my face.

Bridget laughed and shook her head. "Why am I not surprised?"

"What?" I asked looking over at her for a brief second before returning my attention to the road.

"That your best friend...ex best friend...is a werewolf."

I frowned at the middle part of her sentence.

Bridget noticed right away and realized what she had just said. "Sorry," she apologized quickly.

"It's fine," I lied.

And, she knew it. But, she didn't reply.

**~CCC~**

It was a few hours later, and Bridget and I sat with Emily in her kitchen sipping tea and talking. Ever since we arrived at Emily's house, we had been talking about any and everything and getting along as if we had all been friends since birth. It was nice to finally be able to talk with someone other than just Bridget. I mean, don't take that the wrong way. I loved Bridget, she was like my sister. But, Emily was another person I trusted and the fact that she knew nothing about what I went through and she was being civil to me on her own terms, it made me feel really good inside.

For hours everything had been going good. That is until I heard voices and knew that the pack was returning. I froze instantly. Oh, god. Please don't let _them _be here. Or no, he can be here, just not _her._ I can't deal with seeing them together again. No, please, no. Oh, god. Please, no. Please, please, please. This can't be happening. I knew I shouldn't have come here. Or I should've came, stayed for half an hour, then left. That would've been a smarter thing to do. But, nope. I stayed for hours. And, now I was screwed.

When I came back to reality and was no longer frozen in my seat, I looked around and almost froze again. It had gotten silent while I was in my own thoughts. And, now I knew why. The entire pack was there and none of them looked to happy to see me there. Their looks matched the looks I got at the bonfire the night before. A part of me had hoped that maybe things would've changed over night. But, that was the unrealistic part of me thinking. The realistic part of me knew that it was going to take time or a miracle to change how they thought of me.

If only I could tell them my story...maybe, that would put their thoughts of me into a different perspective? Too bad now was so not the time for it yet. I was still afraid of how any of them, Jacob especially, would take the news. A big part of me had a feeling that it wouldn't go over so well. But, there was still that small part of me that refused to give up hope on anything. I was grateful for that part. Otherwise, I would've been running for the hills right now, and I'd never return even if someone paid me to.

"She's not vampire girl anymore. Give her a break," Emily said, her genuine voice filling the room, from where she was being held in Sam's protective embrace.

"Well, not in the sense that you think," Bridget muttered under her breath.

Instinctively, I reached over and punched Bridget in the arm, glaring daggers into her.

"Ow!" Bridget exclaimed her hand instantly going up to her arm where I had punched her. She recanted her attitude seconds later and apologized. "Sorry."

"Open mouth, insert foot," I hissed through clenched teeth.

Bridget held her hands up in a defensive stance. "Okay, I said I'm sorry. Just calm down."

Before anyone could ask about what Bridget had said and, or what had just gone on between Bridget and I, I felt a shiver run up and down my spine. Even if the pack and the girls hadn't looked towards the door, I already knew what they were looking at. Oh, god. They were both here. This is not good. Not good at all. Oh, god. Just breathe. I can do this. I've survived way worse.

Slowly, I turned my head and what I already knew was confirmed. There in the doorway stood both Jacob and Haley. Oh, god. Just kill me now, please. I was once again caught up in my own personal pity thoughts. All I could think of was how much I hated my life right now. I should've never left to begin with. This is all my fault. It's all my fault. I wouldn't be in this situation right now had I never left.

It felt forever before I was brought back to reality once again by the sound of _her_ voice followed by Bridget's.

"An apology would be nice," Haley's fake, sweet and innocent voice said.

Bridget snickered. "Yeah, sorry, but I don't apologize for things that I mean."

That's my Bridget. You go girl. Although, I knew it'd get worse if I didn't stop it before it got any worse. "Bridget, stop," I said reaching my arm up to hers when she stood up.

"Yeah, Bridget, stop," Haley taunted.

"Haley," I heard Emily scold.

What the hell was going on here? Haley's voice had turned from sweet and innocent to evil and Jacob said nothing. I looked at him and glared. "You're okay with how she's acting right now?"

"He understands why I'm acting how I am," Haley answered for him not even giving him a chance.

Anger boiled in my veins. I laughed at Haley, my eyes still focused on Jacob. I wasn't even sure where what I said next came from. "So, what you're so whipped that you agree with everything she says or does?"

Once again, Haley wasn't going to give Jacob the chance to answer. That was beginning to piss me off. If I had wanted her answer, I would've looked at her when I asked not him.

"No, actually it's because I'm his im..." Haley started.

Jacob's eyes were suddenly wide and he finally decided to step in. "Haley!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Haley asked putting on her innocent façade yet again. "She deserves to know."

"Know, what?" I asked.

Jacob shook his head. "Now isn't the time."

"Why not?" I demanded to know.

"Please, Bella. Not now."

"What the hell, Jacob?!" I asked not understanding why he was acting like he was acting.

Although, I knew deep down why he was. He wasn't my Jacob anymore. He was hers. That'd be my answer for everything he said or did from now on. Because it was the truth. He wasn't mine anymore. Hell, I don't even know if he was ever mine to begin with.

When I finally realized that I was going to get absolutely nothing out of him, I shook my head in disbelief and looked over at Bridget. "You know what. Forget it. We should be going now."

Bridget nodded. "Agreed."

I looked over at Emily, who was still wrapped in Sam's arms, and smiled. "Thank you for having us over, Emily."

Emily unwrapped herself from Sam and walked over giving both Bridget and I hugs. "Anytime," she said. "Both of you."

"Thank you. It truly was nice to meet you," Bridget said as Emily hugged her.

"You, too," Emily replied sweetly.

And, then without a second thought or single look back, Bridget and I left.

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 6! Thoughts? Anyone catch the slip up? Review, please?

Next chapter; A night time meeting between Jacob and Bella. Will Jacob tell Bella what the heck happened at Emily's? Will Jacob actually listen to Bella this time? And, if so, then what exactly will Bella be willing to reveal?


	8. Who's the Real Insane One?

_**Without further ado, the chapter I'm sure a lot have been waiting for the most. All Jacob and Bella and revelations from both sides will be revealed. Well, not too much, though. I can't just give it all away just yet. If I did, then there'd be no story left to tell.**_

_**My response to a certain review without giving anything away directly...all I can say is...fear not. Things will be looking up soon enough.**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 7**

That night after Bridget went to bed and luckily fell asleep with no problem at all, I was twisting and turning restlessly in bed. There was too much running through my mind to let me get any sleep at all. And, unfortunately, no surprise at all, everything running through my head had something or other to do with Jacob freaking Black. God, I hated this. What was up with me and getting so attached to guys that they're all I can think of? And, that they're all my life suddenly revolves around? First, it was Edward. Now, it was Jacob.

Although, this time with Jacob it was so much different than it was when I was with Edward. Unlike with Edward, I actually knew what I was doing by letting Jacob get into my head like this. You'd think I'd know better than to let it happen yet again. Yeah, _you'd think_ being the key words. But, I was letting it happen again. Yet, this time something inside me was begging me to just go with it...that everything would work out for the best in the end. And, therefore, here I was letting it happen, even though I should know so much better.

After about an hour of tossing or turning, I was finally fed up. With a frustrated sigh, I threw the covers off of myself and got out of bed. I tip-toed past Bridget, who had insisted on making herself a bed on my bedroom floor, and made my way out of my room. I went downstairs to get myself some water, all the while wishing that there were sleeping pills somewhere in the house. And, also, wishing that even if there were that they wouldn't not work like I knew they wouldn't. Damn changes in me that I had and still have no control over.

One glass of water later, I went back upstairs to try and go to sleep yet again. A big part of me knew it was pointless, but the other part of me said I should at least try and make myself believe that I stand a chance in hell. Surprisingly, after another half and hour of twisting and turning, I found myself slowly drifting off into dreamland. But, of course, I wasn't even that lucky. I was so close to being fully asleep when a soft, yet still loud noise filled the room. Another knock and a closer listen made me realize that the noise was something on my window.

Sitting up quickly, I looked over to find none other than the cause for my sleeplessness himself, Jacob freaking Black! Shaking my head, I sighed and once again threw my covers off of me and got out of bed. Before doing anything else, I quickly threw on a long sleeved over shirt. Then, I don't know why I did, but I did. I walked over to the window and opened it, allowing him to come inside. Again, I don't know why, with how he had been acting towards me ever since I returned home to Forks, but I did.

"If you're just going to yell at me then you should leave," I told him quietly enough that he'd hear, but Bridget wouldn't be disturbed from her sleep.

"I'm not," he replied entering my room.

"Then, why are you here?" I asked him taking a step back and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, to rephrase how you so kindly put it the other day...I finally got my head out of my ass and I'm willing to listen to you instead of just yelling," he answered with a smirk on his face.

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yeah, sorry about that. I tend to say things without thinking them through first when I'm mad," I apologized even though I didn't feel the need to really do so.

Jacob laughed rolling his eyes. "Yeah, no joke," he said his voice dripping with sarcasm.

If we were really going to talk about other things, then I didn't want to chance things so I said, "Maybe we should take this outside just in case."

Jacob nodded and turned back to the window. "If you want."

"You know we can use the door, right?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow as he began climbing out the window. "That's kind of what they're for."

Jacob turned back at grinned at me. "The windows faster," he said matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head before turning to use the proper way out of the house. "Fine, you use the window and I'll use the door."

**~CCC~**

Two minutes later, Jake and I were sitting on the top stair of the front porch. It seemed as if we were both at a distance from each other. He was on one side of the porch steps and I was on the other. It made me feel like...I can't describe it really. It just didn't make me feel good. That's the simplest way I could put it. Compared to how close we'd been a year ago, this just wasn't right. I couldn't help, but wonder if maybe whatever he stopped Haley from saying earlier had something to do with it? Which is actually a good place to start now that I think of it.

Breaking the silence between Jake and I, I looked over at him and said, "I want to know something first before you say whatever you came to say."

Jacob looked up at me and nodded. "Alright, what do you want to know?"

"What is Haley to you?" I asked jumping straight to the point.

Jacob froze for a second before looking away from me. "Bella..." he started.

I cut him off right away. "Tell me now, Jacob," I demanded refusing to give him any chance of an out. He came here, not the other way around. He owed me answers, just as much as I owed him answers, too.

Jacob said nothing for a long time.

"Jacob. What is Haley to you?" I asked again getting agitated by his refusal to answer.

"She's my imprint," he said quietly still refusing to look at me.

Imprint? What the hell is an imprint? "Your what?" I asked confused as hell.

"Imprint," Jacob forced himself to say again.

"What's an imprint?" I wondered out loud this time.

"An imprint is when a wolf binds themselves to someone. It's how wolves find their mates for life. It's how they find their soulmates."

It took a minute or two for the words to sink in. But, when they did it felt like I had just been hit by a bus going full speed. "Oh god. I'm too late," I said quietly.

"No, you're not," Jacob said suddenly looking at me and moving closer to me.

It was my turn to not look at him. "How am I not? You're bound to her for life? She's your soul mate?"

"I know," he didn't even try to deny it.

"So, how am I not too late, then?" I asked him.

"I don't know. I just have this feeling," was all he said not helping me get rid of my fears in even the slightest.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

Jacob ignored my question and changed the subject. "Tell me why you didn't come back."

"What does that have to do with what we're talking about?"

"It just does. Tell me, Bella."

I shook my head. "No. I can't. Not yet."

"You said whatever it takes," he reminded me of my words from the night of the bonfire.

He was right. But, this...I just couldn't. Not yet. "I know, but telling you why I didn't return is out of the question," I said in the sternest voice that I could muster. "It's too much, Jake."

We were both silent after that for a few minutes.

"Fine, what are you willing to tell me, then?" he asked me breaking the silence.

"Almost anything, but that," I answered him honestly.

"Alright," he said. Then moments later asked, "What about the Cullen's?"

Oh, great. Another thing I didn't really want to talk about. But, anything was better than telling him what happened to me while I was gone. "What about them?"

"When was the last time you saw them?"

"I haven't seen the Cullen's since Volterra," I answered being completely honest with him. "And, that was about eight or so months ago."

"Why not?" he wondered.

And, that's where I drew the line. "That's going into the territory of what's too soon to tell you."

Jacob sat there for a moment before getting up. "Yeah, whatever," he said walking down the porch steps away from me.

I abruptly stood up. I couldn't let him leave. "Jake, wait!" I called after him.

"Why should I?" he asked stopping and turning to face me.

"Why shouldn't you?" I countered making my way down the stairs and walking until I was standing right in front of him.

Jacob ignores me and asked instead, "Did you just come back in hopes that I'd be able to put the pieces back together again?"

I was truly taken back by his question. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Last time they left you, you came to me and I picked up the pieces. Then they returned and you left me. It's only logical that you'd do it again," he snapped.

And, of course, I snapped right back. "Are you listening to yourself, Jacob?!" I asked now border line outraged. "You're insane right now!" I exclaimed.

Jacob looked at me like I was the insane one. "I'm being insane? Really? Now that's a first."

"I haven't seen the Cullen's in at least eight months," I reminded him. "And, that's a good thing," I added a moment later after thinking it through.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "So, now you start to realize it's not safe for you to be around vampires?" he asked.

I shook my head realizing that I may have said too much. Not being able to hide the evil smirk on my face, I confessed in a flat tone of voice, "It's not me I'm worried for."

"What are you talking about?" he asked me with a confused expression on his face.

With what I'm sure was an evil glint in my eyes, I said, "It's them."

"What is going on with you lately, Bella?" he asked trying to understand me like he once did.

I shrugged my shoulders, deciding that that was enough for the night and turned around, walking back up the walkway and up the stairs back into the house.

"Bella!" Jacob called to me.

I turned slightly to look at him and smiled. "All answers will be given in due time." I waved at him and said goodnight before turning and walking into the house, closing and locking the door behind me.

I went upstairs and closed and locked my window before crawling into bed and falling asleep quickly, the reason for me tossing and turning earlier, now gone.

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 7! Thoughts?

So, what did you all think about Bella and Jacob's so called late night talk? And, that last part...if anyone's insane it seems it's Bella, am I right? Or am I right? Don't kill me for the imprint thing. Although, this imprint twist that I'm planning isn't like the one from Missing Pieces, all hope still isn't lost. There's a reason it happened, and it'll be explained later in a future chapter. Review, please?

Next chapter; Bella gets a visit from Haley that leaves her far from happy. But, then a revelation from Seth changes everything that she thought she knew.


	9. There's Nothing Like the Truth

_**Thanks everyone for your continued support! It means so much!**_

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 8**

The next morning, I woke up feeling so refreshed. I had gotten the best sleep in literally months. Apparently, almost telling Jake too much had lifted a lot of weight off of my shoulders. And, of course, Jake answering my questions about the imprint and everything. That helped, too. Although, the one bad thing I got from last night's talk...the confusion that came along with the weird vibes Jake was giving off. It's like he knows more than he's letting on or something. But, I can't just ask him because unlike a year ago we weren't as close now, and he'd only close up on me now if I asked.

I got out of bed and went about my normal morning routine. Get dressed. Mouthwash. Breakfast. Actual brushing of my teeth. Not really eventful, but it wasn't really suppose to be. Weirdly enough it was only then that I realized I was home alone. I knew Charlie was at work and since I returned he'd still bee a bit distance from me. I think he was keeping his distance because he was afraid I'd leave again and he didn't want to hurt like he did when I first left again, so he wasn't letting himself get that close. But, I was definitely planning on staying. So, I should talk to him about that later sometime. But, that left Bridget. Where did she go? It wasn't like her to just leave.

Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed the phone from the wall and dialed Bridget's cell phone. She picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Bell!" she spoke cheerfully.

"Hey, Bridge. Where are you?" I asked curiously, folding my free arm over my chest and leaning back against the counter.

"I had to go home," she answered

"You're in Miami?!" I asked, my eyes widening in shock for a moment before I remembered something. Oh, right, duh!

"Some family issues," Bridget told me.

"Oh, is everything okay?" I wondered.

"Yeah, just my dad. You know how he is," she answered jokingly.

I laughed slightly. "Yeah, I do." Her dad was quite the character.

"Alright, well, I hate to cut this short, but my dad's here."

"Okay. When are you coming back?" I asked.

"Umm...tonight. It'll probably be really late."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Okay. Love ya, sis."

I smiled. "You, too, sis."

With that we both hung up at the same time. It was nice to have someone that was close enough to me to make me feel like I had an actual sister. Being an only child wasn't always a good thing. I had missed the sibling bonding that the friends I did have had with their siblings. It was just really nice to finally get to have that feeling for myself. I wouldn't give it away or give it back to where it came from ever.

I hadn't been off the phone for more than a minute before I heard a knock at the front door. Hm. I wasn't expecting anyone. I listened closely to be on the safe side. Alright, so whoever it was, was alive and breathing. Slowly, I made my way out of the kitchen and to the front door. When I unlocked and opened the door, I definitely wasn't expecting who I found standing there.

"Seth," I said with a curiously cocked eyebrow. "What a surprise? What do I owe this pleasure?" I asked moving to the side and gesturing for him to come in.

He smiled and walked in. "Just in the neighborhood."

"Seth..." I started sensing that he was keeping the real reason from me as I closed the door and turned to face him.

"I can't say," Seth said turning to face me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking and was going to say.

His response only made me even more curious as to why he was here. "Why not?" I asked.

Seth shrugged putting his hands in the pockets of his cut offs. "Pack matters."

"Pack matters? You're here for pack matters?" I questioned out loud. "What pack matters have to do with me?" I asked. Oh, god. Did they know? No, of course, they didn't. It's fine, Bella. No need to freak out. They no nothing. It's obvious that they don't.

Seth's eyes widened as he caught himself. "Oh shoot! I've already said to much."

"Seth, what aren't you telling me?"

Seth ignored me and changed the subject. "Where's Bridget?"

Now it was my turn to lie. I quickly made up a lie that I hoped he'd believe. "She went to Port Angeles to go job hunting. She decided she was going to stick around here for a while and she doesn't want to be cooped up in the house the whole time that she's here with nothing to do."

And, he surprisingly, but thankfully for me. believed the lie.

Wow! Where the heck did that come from? Good one, Bella. Mentally high fiving and patting myself on the back, right about now. Woot, woot! Okay, seriously? What is wrong with me right now? Maybe I am the insane one, like I had accused Jake of being last night...maybe I should look in the mirror?

"So, can I get you anything? Water or...something," I offered shaking myself out of my weird thoughts.

"A water would be great," he nodded. "I've been running around all day."

"In wolf form?" I asked behind me as I made my way into the kitchen.

There was a pause before he answered, "Yeah. It's how I pass the time these days."

I didn't quite believe it, but I wasn't going to push him right now, so I let it slide. I went into the kitchen and got a glass of water and took it back to him. "Here you go," I smiled handing it to him.

"Thank you," he smiled back taking the glass from me and downing it in seconds. "Can I have another?"

I nodded. "The kitchen's that way," I told him nodding my head behind me.

"Okay, thanks," he said walking past me towards the kitchen.

Just as I turned to follow him, I heard another knock on the door. Okay. What the heck was going on today? Was there some sort of "Everyone show up and knock on the Swan's door uninvited" event going on today that I didn't know about? I walked over to the door and opened it. This time I was much more shocked by who I saw standing there than I was before when Seth was at the door.

It was _**her**. _Haley. **_Jacob's imprint._**

So long day that was turning out to be a good one.

"What are you doing here, Haley?" I asked her not being as kind to let her in like I had let Seth in.

"I came to tell you that I want you to stay away from Jake."

At first, I was taken back by Haley's bluntness. That is until the reality of what she had just said hit me.

"I really don't think that's any of your business," I told her point blank. "If I hang out with Jake, that's mine and Jake's business not yours."

Haley scoffed and glared evilly at me. "See, now that's where you're wrong."

"Oh, really?" I asked feigning surprise.

Haley nodded. "Yes, really."

"What makes you so sure?" I challenged completely positive that she didn't have a single leg to stand on and back herself up with.

What she said next was enough to make me punch her. But, I refrained from doing so. I was better than that.

"Because I'm his imprint."

I rolled my eyes a her. "That means nothing to me."

Haley laughed an evil laugh that matched her glare from moment before. "But, it should. He'll be whatever I want him to be. If I asked him to stay away from you, he would. But, I wanted to come tell you instead."

Of course, she did. Well, it was nice to know that she didn't mind showing me her true colors. Darn it! Why couldn't someone else be here to witness and back me up if ever need me. Oh, wait. Seth! Of course! He was here, in the kitchen. Surely, he was getting all of this. So, I did have back up in this situation. Thank god.

"Why? So, I can end up being seen as the bitch while you get off as the angel you claim to be?" I asked her loving the look on her face as I hit the nail on the head. "I think not," I added moments later, not backing down.

Haley was silent for a moment before she said, "So, you want to do this the hard way, then?"

I was already so over this bull crap. I just wanted her to turn and leave. "I'm not doing this any way," I told her matter-of-factly. "I left him once and it was the biggest mistake of my life and there's not a day that goes by that I don't regret it. But, I'll be damned if I ever leave him again for anyone, including him. And, especially you. I'm here to stay whether you like it or not!" I assured her with the most serious tone of voice that I could muster.

Haley though for a moment before she hissed at me, "You **_will_** stay away from him! _**He's mine**_!"

And, that was my final straw. "I'm sorry. Last time I checked he's not a piece of property!" I yelled at her. "Nobody owns him! Especially, not you!"

There was complete silence after that as Haley's jaw had dropped to the floor.

"Get off of my porch!" I hissed refusing to give her another chance. How dare she come to my house and tell me who I can and can not see. Pardon my French, but bitch! "Now!" I added more sternly this time when she didn't move the first time.

This time she glared daggers through me. But, she did give up. She turned and left stomping down the porch steps and walk way. I slammed the door behind her. Just then, Seth walked out of the kitchen and down the small hallway back into the foyer where I was standing, leaning back against the front door.

"Did you get all of that?" I asked him.

Seth nodded. "I did."

"Good," I said sighing a sigh of relief. "I don't trust her. Never did and never will. Especially after that," I admitted to him. "How can she possibly make Jacob happy?" I couldn't refrain from asking as I pushed myself off of the door and made my way into the living room. "And, how can you and the rest of the pack actually like her?" I asked plopping down on the couch.

"Do you want the truth?" Seth asked taking me off guard, slightly, as he entered the living room and sat down on the couch next to me.

I looked over at him with a confused expression on my face. "What? The truth about what?"

"About Haley and the pack?"

"What are you talking about?"

"None of us really like her," Seth confessed taking me completely off guard this time.

Did he really just say that? No, it couldn't be. I was just hearing things. It was way too good to be true.

"You don't?" I asked him, my eyes wide and I'm sure my jaw was then dropping to the floor.

Seth shook his head. "No, we only put up with her because she's Jake's imprint and she seems to make him happy."

I frowned.

"But, not like you did," Seth admitted to me.

Oh, god. Yes, this was definitely too good to be true. I was just waiting to wake up now.

"Not like me?" I asked wanting a clarification about what he meant.

"Imprint or no imprint, no one can make Jacob as happy as you did."

It was then that I suddenly felt tears welling up in my eyes. No, no tears, Bella!

"There's still hope for you two, Bella," Seth said making me scared that he was giving me false hope. I mean, how could he not be? Jacob was imprinted for crying out loud!

"But, he's imprinted on Haley," I said quietly looking down at my hands, which were placed in my lap. "And, the pack hates me," I added swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Imprints can be broken," Seth replied to my first statement. Then he waited a moment before responding to my second one, "And, the pack doesn't hater you."

My head shot up and I was more than ready to argue. "The pack does hate me. Unless glares suddenly mean something different."

"No they don't," Seth assured me. "They feel betrayed."

Now that shocked me. Betrayed? The pack felt betrayed? What? Why?

I couldn't bring myself to say anything, but I assume Seth could read it in my face because he suddenly started to explain it to me. "Although, we don't know you all too well, we all lived through what Jacob went through when you left. It was as if we were just as close to you as Jacob was. And, when you left we almost took it as hard as Jacob because it felt like you had betrayed us just as well."

Well, that changed a lot of things.

"And, how can an imprint be broken. You said earlier they can be broken," I said bringing up the other part of our conversation once the fact of the pack feeling betrayed by me kicked in.

Seth shrugged his shoulders and told me honestly, "Not sure exactly. No one's ever done it, but ever since you returned the imprint bond between Haley and Jacob has slowly been changing and not for the best. It's been getting weaker each and every time Jacob sees you."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Seth shut down then. "I shouldn't...I've said too much already."

"Seth," I said trying to convince him not to shut down on me just yet.

But, it didn't work.

Seth shook his head. :It's not my business to tell. Talk to Jake next time you see him."

"Okay," I said knowing that there was no sense in arguing because this conversation was now case closed.

"I should go now," Seth said getting up and walking to the front door.

"Okay."

"I'll see you around," Seth said before leaving without another word.

"Okay."

So, that's what I've resorted my vocabulary to. Okay. That's it. That's all my vocabulary is now. Well, isn't that just great?

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 8! Thoughts? So, what do you think of this side of Haley? What did you think of Seth and Bella's talk? What about their new bond? Does it give you hope for Jacob and Bella? Review, please?

Next chapter; Another Jacob/Bella chapter. I really don't think that I need to say more to make people want to read it more.


	10. She's Ba-ack!

_**Okay. So, since it's the 4th of July and all...I decided that I'd post two chapters in one day as a small, still enjoyable 4th of July gift! So, here's the second chapter for today! Just to let you know, this chapter is bringing another plot into play. A lot of people may think it's a storyline that's over done, but I can assure you that I'm adding a very interesting twist to this plot in this story. You'll see what I mean in a few more chapters or so.**_

_**This chapter is a pretty short one, but it's because it's straight to the point. And, plus with two chapters in one day, I think it'll be okay for this chapter to be a little shorter than usual. Right?**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 9**

It was later that afternoon when I heard the third knock of the day at the door. I literally swear that there was some sort of "knock on the door" event going on in town today or something that I had not been informed about properly. Cause' this just wasn't normal. Very rarely was I used to so many knocks on a door. This wasn't a drug house. There was no need for so many knocks in one day. Jeez.

With a huff, I put my bookmark in the book that I had been so intently reading, closed it, and placed it in front of me on the coffee table. I got up from the couch reluctantly and took my time going to the door. Whoever it was would still be there waiting when my lazy butt got to the door. When I opened it, I was shocked for the third time in less than 5 hours.

"Jacob," I breathed out. "What are you doing here?" I asked him hesitant to let him in, but in the end I moved to let him come inside.

Jacob smiled briefly and walked inside. "I came to apologize," he said turning to face me.

I closed the door and turned around to face him as well and for a moment my eyes wandered over his shirtless chest and abs. Yum. No. Wait. What? What the heck, Bella? Get with the program.

"Bella?" Jacob questioned looking at me with a knowing smirk on his face.

I ignored him. "For what?" I asked him referring to his first statement.

"For Haley," he said making me freeze in place right then and there.

Oh, no he was not. I know he wasn't apologizing for her. That wasn't his job. No. Not no, but hell no. "You shouldn't be apologizing for her," I told him not even trying to hide the disapproval in my voice.

"But, I am," he said.

"But, you shouldn't," I replied. "She should be the one apologizing."

"Bella..." Jacob started to try and reason with me.

I shook my head and let my stubbornness be my guide with what I said next. "No, Jacob. I will not accept an apology from anyone other than maybe her...if she's lucky because quite frankly I don't exactly condone her showing up at my house just to tell me who I can and can't see and actually thinking it's her right to do so. Got it?"

Jacob was silent for a moment before nodding. "Got it."

"Good," I said with a small smile. "Now speaking of how you found out about what happened earlier...I'm assuming it was Seth."

Jacob nodded confirming what I already knew. "Yes, he showed everyone as soon as he left here and phased."

"Why was he here earlier? And, why were you all phased?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest.

Jacob said nothing.

"You said more than you should have, didn't you?" I asked knowing the look that suddenly made it's way onto his face all to well.

"Yes, I did," he admitted in a whispery tone.

"You can't turn back now," I told him. "What are you hiding from me?" I demanded an answer.

It wasn't long before he sighed and answered me, "We've been tracking a leech."

I had not been expecting him to give up so easily. But, that was the last thing on my mind when I realized what it was that he'd said. They'd been tracking a lee...vampire? How the hell had I not sensed a leech in the area? I should've known without having to be told! Hell, how had I not seen...I needed to get a mirror for every room and hallway of this house. That was officially a given.

"For how long?" I asked curiously.

"Off and on for about a year now."

I raised an eyebrow. There was something wrong with this situation. "And, you haven't caught it yet?" I questioned in disbelief.

"She's too fast," Jacob said as if that was a good excuse. He was in a pack of wolves for crying out loud.

"For all of you?" I asked doubtfully.

Jacob thought for a moment before backtracking a bit. "Well, okay, maybe I said that wrong. It's not that she's too fast for all of us. It's just she's fast and smart. Smarter than you'd expect."

"How smart are you talking?"

"Smart enough that we haven't caught her yet."

Hm. Yep. Good point, there.

There was a short silence after that.

"We think she's after something in particular and it's adding to how smart she is about not getting caught," he confessed when the silence became too much for us both.

Interesting.

"Do you know what she's after?"

Jacob shook his head. "No. She actually just came back for the first time about two days ago or so."

That caught my attention big time. "How weird," I stated.

"What's weird?"

I thought about it for another moment or two before realization dawned on me. "She returned the same day I did. Wait. She? You said she?" It was as if a light bulb had just flickered on, full power, in my head.

"Yeah, the leech is definitely a she."

My eyes widened. "What color hair does she have?" I dared to ask.

Jacob looked at me funny. "What does that have to do with anything?" he asked his own question.

"Just answer the question, Jake," I urged him to answer.

"Red."

Yep. Just what I thought. Darn it. "Oh great," I muttered.

Jacob noticed my reaction instantly. "What is it?"

"Victoria," I groaned.

Jacob didn't reply for a moment. "The leech has a name," he said once it dawned on him what I had just said.

I nodded my head and answered popping the "p," "Yep."

"So, you know her then?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Well, I wouldn't say I know her. I know of her. "Sort of," was what I decided to go with.

His next question threw me for a loop. Should I answer honestly? Or should I lie?

"Do you know what she's after?"

Eh, why not tell the truth. "Me," I answered simply as if it wasn't a big deal, which to me it kind of wasn't/

And, just like that it was like a switch was flipped. Before, I had thought that Jacob was completely Haley's now and that I had no hope for ever getting Jacob back. Especially with how he didn't stand up for me or stop Haley from saying and doing the things she did in the past few days since I first got back to Forks. I had been so sure that Jacob was now completely Haley's Jacob and that he was whipped beyond the point of being brought back.

But, now I can see the anger that suddenly took over Jacob's face and his hands clenched into fists at his sides. It was right then and there that I realized that imprint or not...there's still hope for me and Jacob somehow. **_My Jacob_** was still in there somewhere. He still cares about me enough to want to protect my with his own. And, to think I had been doubting even the slightest bit of a possibility. Obviously, this was only a slight hope. But, it was enough to make me breath easier for a while now.

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 9! Short, I know, but still. Thoughts? So, the moral of this chapter...well, two actually...one, the enemy always come back and two, there's still hope! Woot! Woot! Review, please?

Next chapter; A secret of Bella's is unintentionally revealed when she goes to La Push to tell the pack what she knows about Victoria. And, the person who finds out and reveals it is isn't who you'd ever think would do such a thing. Well, kinda.


	11. Part of the Cat Is Out of the Bag

_**Thanks for your continued support everyone. I'm glad everyone likes the story so far!**_

_**So, this chapter...not sure if anyone noticed the secret that this chapter will reveal in previous chapters...one person on JBNP caught it a few chapters back, but this chapter will answer one question, but will more than likely leave you with others. But, fear not...I have the next few chapters or so planned out and the big reveal is coming very soon.**_

_**Oh, and one more thing...this is the longest chapter of the story, yet! Yay!**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine. I only own my OC's Haley and Bridget._

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Jacob insisted on taking me to La Push so that I could explain all about the leech they were hunting after finding out about Victoria being back in town, and realizing that she's after me, which makes total sense...sort of. Edward killed Victoria's mate, James. Therefore, Victoria wants to kill me thinking that I'm still Edward's mate. If only she knew the truth. She was walking into a death trap without knowing it. And, it wasn't because of the pack. It was because of me. I could already feel the satisfaction beginning that I knew I'd have when Victoria found out the truth. She was the only one I really wanted to reveal the truth, too, because I could honestly care less about how she'd react. She'd be dead, anyways, so what exactly would it matter how she reacted or not?

Just before we left for La Push, Bridget returned. It was only a little passed 2:30 in the afternoon. I hadn't expected Bridget back until tomorrow. After introducing Bridget and Jacob properly, I had pulled Bridget aside while Jacob went to wait for us in the car and I asked her why she was home so early. She told me that it was because she had felt like I would need her tonight. It made no sense because I couldn't figure out any reason that I'd need her tonight, but I decided in the end not to question it. Bridget always knew before anyone else whether I'd need her or not. It was her job, after all. To look after me and be there for me. She had to whether she wanted to or not, which is why I was so happy that we clicked instantly and became very good friends.

And, now Bridget and I both were sitting at the kitchen table at Sam and Emily's. Surrounded by the entire pack. Emily, of course. And, Haley. Fuck my life at times. And, this was one of those times. I really didn't see any reason for Haley to be here. She was only causing a distraction on my part. I couldn't stop thinking about her visit earlier. And, I couldn't stop thinking about how badly I felt like bashing her face into something. No, no, Bella. That's not you. Stop thinking like that. She's not a vampire. You don't hate her enough to do something so harsh. Besides, Jacob would probably hate you if you did anything to Haley. Whether she deserved it or not. Which, if you ask me, she really and truly did deserve it. It just wouldn't be me to give her what she deserves. It couldn't be me.

My recalling of the afternoon and other thoughts were interrupted by Sam's alpha voice causing the room to go silent.

"Why don't you tell us everything, Bella?" he suggested.

I nodded. "Alright, so where to start."

Oh, god. Was I about to tell them every little detail? Or should I cut some parts out? Or maybe I'll just cut to the chase. Alright, maybe I'll leave some things out. I was in a small house filled with wolves after all. Certain things would probably set them off. Well, actually there's no probably to it. Certain things would most definitely set the wolves off. One, in particular. So, shortened to the point version of the story it is.

"Alright, so straight to the point...the leech you've all been hunting is Victoria. And, she's after me." Yep, straight to the point version. There it was.

"Why am I not surprised you're the reason she's here," I heard someone snarl from the corner of the room. I didn't have to look to see who it was to know that it was Paul. He always did have a bigger problem with me being a leech lover...past leech lover...than most.

"Paul," Sam hissed forcing Paul to shut up while he was ahead.

Paul glared at him and then at me, but backed off, despite himself.

"Why's she after you?" Jacob suddenly asked reminding me he was there, but a lot closer than I remembered him being.

I looked over and saw him sitting in the chair next to me that moments ago had been vacant. Knowing that he was this close made me freeze up a bit. I was almost afraid to say why Victoria was after me. Especially with how much Jacob already despised Edward. Telling Jacob that Edward was partially the reason why Victoria was after me...yeah, I was expecting the worst from him when that part came to the surface.

"Well, a year and a half ago or so when I was first started...umm...dating...Edward..." I paused when Jacob growled as I said _his_ name. Yep, this situation was awkward and intense already and I had barely said anything yet. I knew it was going to happen. "Is me telling you this going to make you mad?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

He shook his head. "No, continue."

"Okay, as I was saying...when we first started dating there was this other vampire. Well, three vampires, actually. They came across the Cullen's and I and after realizing that I was human...one of them decided to make me their new prey, for lack of better words. Except he made it a game."

Another growl.

I glared at Jacob.

"Continue."

"Anyways, one thing led to another and I won't go into anymore details because I don't think you'll be able to handle them..." I looked straight at Jacob when I said the last part. "Edward killed said vampire. And, he just so happened to be Victoria's mate and now Victoria's out for revenge. Apparently, in her head she's thinking a mate for a mate," I sighed. Then added a second later, "I take it she hasn't exactly gotten the memo yet that Edward and I are no more."

**~CCC~**

As soon as I had finished filling the pack in, Jacob had quickly gotten up and stormed out. The pack had followed. I had already prepared myself for said reaction, so it didn't bother me too much. I'm just glad he didn't say or do anything around me. It was a small bit of weight taken off of my shoulders. And, for that I was extremely grateful. But, there was something else to add the weight right back. Jacob had left and the pack had followed, which left me, Emily, Bridget, and...Haley all alone in the house. Awkward. And, frustrating seeing as if I still couldn't get over Haley's visit from earlier.

I held onto my hot cup of tea tightly. Bridget and I shared a few knowing glances. This was not how I had planned to spend the rest of my afternoon. Here, in a small house with my biggest enemy at this point in time in my life. And, it didn't help matters any when Haley started speaking to me. My grip on my cup of tea tightened immensely to the point where I was surprised that the cup hadn't broken into pieces in my hands.

"Bella..." Haley started.

I looked up at her trying to put on my best, "I don't hate you," face. Even though, I sort of did.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier," she said causing me to spill my tea all over my shirt. "Shit!" I exclaimed jumping up as the heat of the tea seeped through my shirt to touch my bare skin.

Bridget's eyes widened and she bit her lower lip. I knew her well enough to know that she was trying not to laugh.

"Oh, gosh," Emily said getting up from the table to grab a cloth from the kitchen. She came back moments later with a damp dish rag. "Here," she said handing it to me. "You can go in the bathroom and clean your shirt up."

I smiled at her and took the dish rag from her. "Thank you," I smiled at her before quickly making my way to the bathroom.

Holy crow! What the hell? That was not at all what I had expected?. She wants to apologize to me? What? I had not at all expected an actual apology from her. Wow. Well, this was going to be interesting. That is if I decided that I really wanted to sit around and hear her apology and whatever else she had to say.

Once in the bathroom, I closed the door behind me. I placed the dish rag on the sink and took off my shirt. I looked over myself in the mirror just long enough to shutter at the state that my arms were in. They brought back so many memories. Memories that I wanted so badly to forget. Memories that no matter how hard I tried to forget, I never would be able to. Memories that would take center attention in my mind every single time I saw my bare scarred arms. This was all just so unfair.

I was just picking up the dish rag to wipe it on the tea stain in my shirt when there was a knock for the door. I froze instantly. Then, I heard the door knob turning. Oh, shit! Then, I saw the door opening through the mirror. Oh, damn! The, I saw Haley's shocked face as her eyes instantly went to my arms. Oh, fuck! No. This was so not happening. I was dreaming. I was having a nightmare. Please, be a nightmare. Please. I instantly turned around quickly and placed my hands behind my back. Just in case this was truly reality instead of just a hopeful nightmare on my part.

"I'm sorry," Haley said quickly before turning on her heel and slamming the door shut behind her.

Why did this always happen to me?

**~CCC~**

It took me about 15 minutes to regain the courage to leave the bathroom. When I did return to the kitchen table, I sat down, turned to Haley, and forced myself to hear her apology. Anything was better than having to explain myself to her about what she saw. It wasn't really any of her business.

"You were saying before the whole tea incident," I spoke hoping she'd continue was she was going to say before everything else had happened.

Haley hesitated for a moment as if she wanted to ask about what she had seen instead. I held my breath the entire time before she spoke and caused me to breath out a sigh of relief.

She nodded. "Yeah, I was going to apologize. I shouldn't have come by and said what I said earlier. I was just..." she trailed off.

I said nothing and just waited for her to continue. All the while, jumping for joy that she wasn't going to ask me about what she saw. Thank you God!

"I'm just really protective of Jake." She paused. "I'm just afraid of seeing him hurt again." She paused again. "By you again," she said rather bluntly.

I nodded in understanding. I knew exactly how she felt.

"I may be his imprint, but I do know enough about you and Jake's past to know that I will never be able to fully compete with you."

Well that was unexpected. "What do you mean?" I asked her shocked at what I was hearing.

Haley sighed. "I mean, I know that Jake will never be able to love me like he loves you."

"You...he..." I honestly couldn't find the words to speak.

Why was she telling me all of this? Why couldn't she have just stayed as the Haley that I hated? God, why? Why, oh, why is this stuff always happening to me? What the hell had I done that was so wrong that I deserved any of the shit I've been through in the past year?

"I just want to start over and see if we can try and be friends," she informed me.

My eyes widened? Friends? Holy crow! WTH?! WTF?! "Umm...uhh...why?" Really, Bella? Why? What kind of question is that in a situation like this?

"Because I know how much you mean to Jacob. And, since Jake and I are together, we should be friends for his sake. That way he won't lose either of us and he won't get hurt again," she answered me.

Oh, god. This was not happening. No, no, no. Please wake me up. Let me wake up. Tell me this is just a dream. A nightmare. Yeah, that's what this is. Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god. Why me?! God?! Why me?!

"Okay," I surprised myself by saying.

What the hell, Bella?!

Before either of us could say another word, the pack returned. I watched as the entire pack one by one reentered the house. Jacob walked in last.

**~CCC~**

Another 10 minutes or so passed while the girls and I were informed about what the pack had talked about outside. I'm not sure which part made me snap first, but I did snap before long. I suddenly felt guilty about pretty much putting them in a position where they were willing to possibly give up their lives to save mine. No, that's not me. The old Bella would've had no choice, but to go along with everything. But, this new Bella...I could handle anything...well, almost anything that life and/or the supernatural threw at me.

"You know what, no," I said standing up as I felt something inside me snap.

"Bella..." I heard Bridget say from one side of me as she stood up, too.

I shook my head and cut her off. "She's here for me...and since it's me she wants...it's me she'll get."

"Bella..." Bridget tried again.

"Just not in the way she expects," I assured her.

"So, you want to willingly add to your already huge bite mark collection then?" Haley asked suddenly.

I froze. Oh, god. Nightmare. Please, say it's a nightmare. God let this be a nightmare for real. No she did not just...then, Jacob spoke up...damn it all to hell, anyways. She really did just say that.

"What are you talking about Haley?" Jacob asked.

I tried to make a run for it, but I was frozen in place.

"Bella is a walking, talking bite mark cushion," Haley told him putting it precisely.

Jacob's eyes instantly were instantly on me. "Bella, what is she talking about?" he asked me.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I couldn't have answered even if I tried with every fiber of my being to.

"I saw them, Jake," Haley said much to my dismay. "They're all over her arms as well as her shoulders."

"Bella..." Jacob took a step towards me.

My eyes widen as I realized then that everyone was looking at me. Move, feet, move. Please. Just then, I wasn't frozen anymore. I turned and made a quick beeline to the door. But, Jacob got there before I could. He stood in the doorway blocking my way from leaving.

"Let me see them," he demanded in a fearful tone.

I shook my head and swallowed hard. "No."

"Not now, Jacob," Bridget warned from behind me. "This isn't the time. She's not in the right mind enough to relive it yet."

Yes, Jacob. Bridget is right. Please listen to her.

Jacob ignored her. "Bella, let me see them now," he demanded again.

Of course, it was just my luck.

"No, please..." I said trying not to let the tears fall from my eyes.

"Bells," Jacob said, his voice softening a bit, knowing how his nickname for me made me react a lot of the times.

"Please, Jacob, don't," I tried again to make him let it go and let me leave.

"Now!" he demanded, this time in a tone that I had never heard from him before.

I can't figure out why, but the sound of his voice that I wasn't at all used to from hi, had convinced me to show him what he wanted to see. Slowly, I lifted up my shirt sleeves to show the faded, but still very noticeable when up close and personal, bite marks all up and down my arms. For now the ones on my shoulders were safe from being seen. But, I was sure he'd see them all before long. Just not now.

His eyes grew wide with shock as well as complete and utter disgust. Oh, god. He hated me now. Didn't he? He had to of. I disgusted him now. I tried to get passed him, but he grabbed my covered shoulders and held me in place. Then when I stopped struggling against him, he reached down for my wrists lifting them up to see the bites all over my arms better.

"How did this happen? Why do you have so many? And, how the hell are you human?" he asked question after question, all of which I was not at all ready to answer. Him finding out about the bite marks was already too much for me to handle. And, him, too.

I shook my head and yanked my arms out of his grips, quickly pulling down my sleeves. "Don't make me tell you, please," I begged him.

"Why can't you tell me?" he asked and I could tell he was trying to keep his composure by the way his whole entire body was shaking.

"Because, I can't," I whispered looking down at the floor avoiding eye contact with him at all costs.

Jacob turned to leave, then. "Fine, then," he said as if he had given up. It's like he knew I'd react how I did.

"Damn it, Jacob! Why are you being like this?!" I exclaimed after him.

"Being like what, Bella?! I deserve the truth!" he hissed at me when he spun back around.

My voice softened again. "I know you do, but..."

"But what?" he asked walking back to me.

"If I tell you, then...I'll have to relive it," I told him finally breaking down, not being able to contain the tears anymore. "It was awful. Don't make me relive it. Please, don't make me," I begged and pleaded tears now cascading down my cheeks. "Oh, god. I have to go!" I exclaimed pushing past Jacob and dashing outside.

"Damn it! See what you did. I told you not now!" I heard Bridget hiss as I was sure she had gotten up and rushed after me. I was proven right when I fell to the ground and felt her arms instantly wrap around me. "Calm down, Bell. Everything's okay. It'll all be alright. You don't have to say a word," Bridget said rubbing soothing circles on my lower back.

How in the world had this day really just gone from bad to worse?

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So, there you all have it, Chapter 10! Thoughts? I bet that revelation leaves you all wondering just what Bella went through. Review, please?

Next chapter; More Jacob and Bella interaction. They have a talk about a few things they've needed to discuss for a while now. And, Jacob does something out of the blue that shocks Bella.

Also, I can't help but do some shameless pimping right now...please, forgive me...anywho...if you haven't already, and you don't mind a villain Edward story, then please check out my new story Going Under. It'd mean so much to me. Thank you all!


	12. Never Would Have Suspected It

**Wow! Last chapter brought in so many new follows and favorites and the most reviews so far of any other chapter! You guys are all the best! Really, you are!**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Chapter 11**

The ride back home had felt like an eternity. I wanted nothing more than to just go shower, go to sleep, and forget all about today. If only it were possible to forget about the day. I wished I could take it all back. The look of disgust on Jacob's face when he first saw the bite marks on my arms. That was the worst, so that'd be the first for me to forget. If I could. It was awful. That look alone made me feel a hundred times worse than I ever did when I was in Volterra actually getting the bite marks. I suddenly would've preferred to be back there than here with that disgusted look. God. I just wanted to burn it from my brain.

"You're sure you're going to be okay?" Bridget asked me for at least the hundredth time breaking me away from my horrible thoughts as she came up behind me.

I nodded and turned around pulling her into a hug. "Yes, I'll be just fine, Bridge," I assured her. "You go. Tell your dad that I said hi."

She smiled and pulled away. "I will. I'll be back tomorrow. I promise."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then," I smiled back just before she disappeared.

Then, I was left alone. Alone once again with my horrible thoughts. Part of me wished I had asked Bridget to stay. But, the other part of me knew that she had her own life and problems to deal with. It wasn't fair to keep her from her own things. It wasn't the type of person I was. I wasn't the selfish type who expected everyone to give up their own life to deal with mine. Nope. I would suffer in silence and deal with it all myself. After all, my stupid decision making had caused this all to happen to me. So, I deserved to suffer in silence right about now.

A few minutes after Bridget left, I decided to go upstairs and shower and then try to sleep the day I way. I walked out of the living room and headed for the stairs. Half way up the stairs, I heard a knock at the front door. Fourth knock in the past 24 hours. I wonder who it was this time. I turned back around and headed back down the stairs to answer the door. Once again, I wasn't exactly expecting to see the person who was standing there. Wasn't he suppose to hate me right now? Why was he here?

"Can I come in?" he asked.

I said nothing, just nodded and stepped aside.

He walked inside without a word himself and I closed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry for pushing you so hard earlier, Bella," he spoke after a moment of silence turning around to face me, his hands in the front pocket of his cut offs.

I avoided eye contact with him, looking down at the floor. "It's fine, Jacob," I told him.

Jacob didn't agree and he didn't even try to hide it. "No, it's not, Bells," he said reaching forward and cupping my chin with his hands forcing me to look up at him. "I shouldn't have pushed you like I did. I was just..." he trailed off staring at me intensely.

I swallowed. "Just what?" I asked finding myself mesmerized by his eyes. The look in his eyes showed none of the disgust from earlier.

"When Haley said she saw all those bite marks all over your arms, I lost it," Jacob confessed.

"That's quite an understatement," I said out loud by accident. Oops.

Jacob ignored me, for which I was thankful, and continued, "All I could think of was how could I have been so stupid."

Wait. What? "Why are you the stupid one?" I asked taken off guard big time.

"I should've fought harder. I should've tried harder to get you to stay here with me. But, I didn't." He grabbed my arms and pushes up the sleeves of my shirt.  
"And, look at you now because of it."

I brought my hands up down to his where they were holding my wrists and placed them on top of his as tightly and assuring as I could. "It's not your fault, Jake," I tried to convince him.

"I should've tried harder," he spoke in nothing above a whisper.

"You did," I told him. "You fought so hard."

He shook his head. "No, I didn't."

Really, Jake? Really? "Yes, you did," I insisted. "You tried your hardest to convince me to stay, but I was too damn stubborn to change my mind."

Jacob thought for a moment and then what I said brought a small grin to his face. "I won't argue with that last part."

I rolled my eyes taking my hands away from his and playfully punching him in the arm. Seconds later, I was completely serious again. "I should've never left."

"But, you did." Jacob adverted his eyes from me and backed up a few steps.

"And, I regret it," I admitted out loud for the first time to the one person that it would mean the most to.

"I know you do," Jacob said.

"But, it doesn't change anything," I replied suddenly remembering that there was now another person in this equation. "You're imprinted with Haley," I reminded him.

Jacob looked back up at me, then. "I know, but..."

I shook my head quickly. No, please no. I couldn't bare to hear what he had to say. "No buts, Jake. I...we can't..." I paused to think of what to say. "This whole us going back and forth between you're imprinted to Haley and then to the whole it'll always be me and then back to you're imprinted to Haley again...it's not fair to either of us. Or even to Haley." I paused again continuing moments later. "I'm not sure there's anything that we can really do about it. Not right now, anyways."

Jacob stepped closer to me. "There has to be."

Oh, god. Why Jake? Why do you have to do this to me? To you? To us?

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. "But, there isn't," I told him trying to keep my voice from letting the fact that I was trying not to cry be known to Jacob. "You said it yourself...imprints are for life. If imprints can truly be broken like Seth said...then, and only then can we actually try and work on...us. But, right now...it's not possible."

A bout of silence fell between us.

"There's one thing wrong with that," Jacob said breaking it moments later and stepping closer to me again.

"And, what's that?" I asked him stepping back each time he stepped forward.

"I'm imprinted to Haley, but for some reason you're still all I can think of," he answered taking another step closer to me.

This time when I stepped back to keep the distance between us, my back hit the door. "I'm...you what?"

Jacob closed the distance between us until his bare chest was pressed up against me and I could feel his breath on my face. "I told you once that you're the only girl I will ever see and I meant it."

"But, how...you're imprinted, Jake. That's not possible. She's your soul mate." I have no idea why I was trying to argue with what he was saying, but the fact was that I was arguing whether it made any sense or not.

"And, yet you're all I think about."

I shook my head. "I can't be. It makes no sense."

"I know it doesn't," Jacob agreed. "But, it's the truth."

I was in complete and total denial of what I was hearing. This had to be some sort of sick joke. Unless, somehow imprints aren't as powerful as everyone seems to think and say they are. Yet, here I was arguing with it even though this was exactly what I wanted to hear. "It can't be. How...?

"Bella, please," Jacob said his breath warming my face.

"Please, what, Jake?!" I asked looking up at him with what room I had left to do so seeing as if he was pressing me up against the front door. "This makes absolutely no freaking sense! You're imprinted and yet you claim you still only see me. It doesn't add up!"

"I know it doesn't. It's hard to explain, but it's you, Bella. It's always been you. And, it'll always be you. Imprint or not."

"You say that now, Jake. But..." I trailed off not sure what I was planning on ending that sentence with.

"But, nothing, Bella," Jacob said refusing to let me continue denying what he was saying. "It's you. Always has been. Always will be," he told me again as if he thought the more he said it the more I'd believe it.

And, a part of me did. But, there was still that other part of me that was refusing to believe it for whatever reason.

The refusing part of me won over and I argued some more. "You have no clue what you're saying, Jake. Haley's your imprint!" I exclaimed!

"I don't care! It's you, damn it!"

"How the hell can you say that?!" I asked him looking at him like he was a crazy person.

"I love, Haley..." Jacob started taking me by surprise.

Seriously? Did he really just say that to me? "Really, Jake? Really?" I asked him as the sudden urge to slap him silly came to mind.

"Let me finish before you interrupt me, Bella, before you jump to conclusions," Jacob said.

"Fine," I huffed crossing my arms.

"I love, Haley," Jacob started again and paused before assuring me, "But I will never love anyone like I love you."

The tears were more relentless to be let out now. "Please, Jacob...don't do this too me. Don't. You say this now, but then you'll be right back with Haley again. I can't take that, Jake. I can't freaking take that!"

I expected him to say something back, but before I knew what was happening, I felt warmth on my lips. It took me a second to process in my mind what was happening, but when I did...Holy shit! He was kissing me! Jacob was kissing me. Oh, god. He was kissing me? Why was he kissing me? This wasn't helping anything. He was just going to leave and go back to Haley anyways. You know, his imprint, Haley. No, Bella. What are you thinking? Jacob would never kiss you just because. It's obvious he means everything he's been telling you.

Before I even knew it, I was kissing him back. The warmth of his lips on mine was so amazing. It felt so real. So right. So wrong. Wait, wrong? What the hell? Why did it feel wrong? Oh, yeah, that's right. It's wrong because you're kissing someone else's boyfriend. What is wrong with you, Bella? Just because you love Jacob doesn't mean you should be kissing him when he's with someone else. Wait a second. Love? Did I just think...I love him? Oh, god. I do. Oh, no. This isn't right. I love him. But, he's with someone else.

I suddenly pulled away and pushed him away at once.

"Why did you just...?" I couldn't form a real sentence as I pushed past him and almost ran to the stairs. I was too shocked by him kissing me and by my revelation that I didn't turn around.

"It'll always be you, Bells," Jacob said.

Then, I heard the door open, his footsteps retreating, and the door closing behind him.

All I could think of once he left is...what the hell just happened here? And, where the hell did that revelation come from out of the blue? Did I really love Jacob? Or was it just a spur of the moment thought?

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So, there you all have it, Chapter 11! Thoughts? Hehe...gotcha all! I bet nobody saw that kiss coming. Review, please?

Next chapter; Bridget and Bella have a talk about Jacob kissing Bella. And, just what is going on with Bella's eyes?


	13. It's All So Clear Now

_**Thank you all for your continued support! It means a lot more to me than you probably know! I can never thank you all enough!**_

_**I know some of you don't like the pace of this story much, but there's a reason for it all. Just be patient. I promise the big reveal is coming very soon. In the next couple of chapters, I assure you!**_

_**This chapter is a little on the short side. And, because of it I'm thinking about posting another chapter later to make up for it. And, I can assure you...next chapter will definitely make up for it!**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Chapter 12**

That kiss and my revelation were the only things that I could think of for the rest of the night and early part of the morning. Luckily, lack of sleep didn't have the same affect on me that it did for normal person. I had stayed up all not overthinking everything that had happened since my return to Forks leading up to what had happened the night before. That kiss had thrown everything I thought I knew for a loop. It was the tip of the iceberg for me. I couldn't argue any longer that Jacob didn't mean exactly what he said about it being me despite the imprint. It made no sense really.

Although, maybe that was just proof that an imprint really isn't as permanent and strong as the legends have told that it was. After all, there's a reason for everything right? And, the legends are exactly that...legends. For all anyone knows they've been told for so long and so many times by so many people that by time they got to this day in age, the legends are bound to have been changed in some form or another from what they had started out as. The more I thought of the theory in my head, the more it did make sense.

As always, something interrupted me from my thoughts. I head a weird tingling noise kind of like quiet bells and knew right away that it was Bridget returning from Miami. I looked over to where the noise had come from and smiled at her.

She smiled back, but ended up grinning a wide grin instead seconds later. Oh, great. She knew. She definitely freaking knew.

"What happened while I was gone?" she asked me a knowing smirk on her face. Although, I was sure she didn't know exactly what happened, I knew she knew that something had happened. She was a very inquisitive person who could read anyone like an open book.

I looked away while a blush covered my face.

"Bell," Bridget inquired walking over to where I sat on the couch.

"Jacob came over after you left last night," I told her still refusing to look back up and over at her.

"And?" she asked urging me on.

"He...umm...he...hekissedme!" I blurted out before my nerve left me.

I have no idea why it was so hard for me to say it to her. Maybe because I was so confused. Or because I kind of felt guilty for kissing Jacob when he was with Haley? So many possibilities. I just wasn't sure which one it was.

"Wait, he kissed you?!" Bridget squeaked and I didn't even have to look at her to know that her eyes were wide and her jaw was probably as far as the floor.

I nodded.

"And?" she wondered sitting down next to me.

"And, what?" I asked her.

"How did it make you feel?" she asked in return.

I couldn't help but chuckle at her question. Since when had this become a therapy session. That was the type of question a therapist would ask. "It was great," I admitted.

"Oh, Bell," Bridget said in a sing song voice throwing her arms around me. "That's so great!

"He's with Haley." I felt the need to remind her in a tone that said it was a bad thing.

"So?" Bridget asked not sure why I viewed that as a bad thing.

I don't know if it was the overthinking, the fact that I felt slightly guilty, or Bridget's question, but I just couldn't keep myself calm anymore. My attitude changed just like that. Surprising not only Bridget, but me as well. "Why did he have to kiss me? He's imprinted to her. It's not fair of him!"

Bridget pulled me closer in her arms. "I'm so sorry, Bell. I didn't know you would feel this way about it," she apologized for her earlier giddiness on the subject.

I rested my head on her shoulder and the tears fell on impact. "I...I think...I love him, Bridge," I choked out between tears.

Bridget pulled away from me instantly. "You what?" she asked me doing a double take. "Bell, what did you just say?"

I wiped tears from my face and looked at her. "I said I think I love him, Bridge," I confessed. "Wait, no, correction. I **_know_** I love him. He's all I could think of when I was in Volterra. It was him who kept my will to live alive."

"Oh, Bell," she cooed throwing her arms back around me.

"But, he's with her now," I sighed trying to make the tears not come back.

"I know," Bridget replied sadly.

"That kiss last night...it made me realize...just how much I really do love him. I've always loved him. I was just too blind to see it before now. I love Jacob! I am in love with Jacob Black!" Wow! What a revelation on my part! "But, it doesn't freaking matter," I huffed.

Damn Haley. Damn Imprint. Grr!

"Don't you say that, Bell!" Bridget scolded me.

"It's the truth, Bridget!" I argued with her.

Bridget shook her head fiercely. "No, it's not!" she exclaimed. "You need to tell him, Bell."

It was my turn to shake my head. "I can't," I said quickly. "No, no, no. I can't. I can't be hurt like that."

Bridget sighed pulling back and placing her hands on my shoulders turning me to face her. "You're already hurting, Bell. And, keeping it inside is hurting you worse," she informed me.

"I can't tell him," I whispered even though I knew she was right.

"Why not?" Bridget questioned.

"Because I would have to tell him what I am first!" I answered shaking myself out of her grasp and jumping up off the couch. "And, I'm not ready to do that just yet."

"Why aren't you ready yet? Don't you just want to get it over with? Besides, what are you going to do with your revelation now if he finds out what you are and he hates you for it?"

Oh, god. I hadn't even thought of the after reveal part. I mean, I got as far as surely he'd hate me, that's a given. But, him actually hating me because of what I am now after that kiss and my revelation based on that kiss? Oh, darn. Why didn't I think about this before? So stupid, Bella. So stupid.

"Exactly my point, Bridge. What if he hates me when he knows what I am?" I asked sitting back down on the couch and putting my head in my hands. "I couldn't...it would kill me if what I am...keeps us from having a chance."

"Oh, Bell," Bridget put an arm around me and leaned her head on top of my own. "I'm sure it'll all work out for the best," she spoke trying to be as reassuring as she was capable of.

I was in tears again. "Why'd they have to do this to me? Why? It's so unfair! They've ruined me! And, my life! And, my chance at happiness!"

"Bell, you had no control. It's not your fault. I'm sure Jacob will understand when it all comes out."

"But, what if he doesn't?" I asked. Great, Bella. Yeah, always think the worst. Not everything happens in the worst way. Yet, I always jump to those conclusions. I guess it goes along with the saying, _expect the worst and hope for the best_.

I looked up just in time to see Bridget roll her eyes at me. "Seriously, Bell? Get over all the what if's. What if the world ended tomorrow? What if the sun and moon never came out at the right times? So many what if's. But, they're all just pointless. Plain and simple."

She had a point there.

"Umm...Bell," Bridget said suddenly looking at me weirdly.

"What?" I asked her feeling slightly awkward under her gaze.

"Your eyes are turning golden, Bell," she informed me.

"Say what?" I asked jumping up from the couch and running to the nearest mirror I could get to. And, damned if they weren't. Everything changed in that instant. "So they are," I smirked with an evil glint in my eyes.

"Bella..." Bridget started to say.

But, I was in my own little world at the moment, so I ignored her. "This is just what I need to get my mind off of him and that kiss."

"Bella..." Bridget tried again.

And, I, of course, ended up ignoring her again. "Time to have some fun!"

The woods were suddenly calling me and I was powerless to go against the call. I quickly turned and ran out of the house, bare feet and all.

"BELLA!" Bridget called after me.

But, it was too late. I was already my other half now.

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So, there you all have it, Chapter 12! I know, I know. That was a mean little cliffy. Thoughts? So, who caught the biggest hint of them all? And, what did you all think about Bella's revelation? Also, the chapter ending. Review, please?

Next chapter; Something happens that leaves Bella no other choice, but to tell the pack about what happened to her to make her stay away for a year.


	14. The Other Half

**Wow! You blew me away with your reviews last chapter!**

**Like I said I probably would...here's the second update of the day! It's another short one, but I don't think any of you will mind once you read it. Well, actually, you might mind, but not about the word count.**

**Also, I must say some of you are very close in your predictions. But, all else I'll say is...there's a bit more to it than you think. It'll all be revealed for sure next chapter, I assure you!**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Chapter 13**

I ran through the woods for God only knows how long before I made it to the clearing. The clearing that had been calling to me ever since Bridget informed me of my eyes turning to their golden color. At first, all those months ago when it happened for the first time, the golden eyes thing had been a nuisance to me. But, after those few months after Volterra when I was recovering and finally had the time to come to terms, I mean as much as I could, with what I am now...the golden eyes actually became a part of me that I learned to embrace. They always turned gold when a vampire was within a certain distance from me. And, they signified my change that was soon to happen. The golden eyes were some sort of a warning sign for me. That way I could be ready for a vampire or vampires before they even got to me. It was in my nature now.

When I got to the clearing, I wasn't sure what to expect. So, it came as a pretty big surprise to me to see the pack, all in wolf form, fighting a small coven of vampires. It wasn't hard for me to figure out that they must've been a part of some newborn army that Victoria was creating to come after me. I only just learned of Victoria being around the day before, but it was in my nature to just know things like this now. And, with all the people going missing in Port Angeles, and Victoria being the only other vampire in Forks, I didn't have to be a genius to know that she was the one to blame for all of the disappearances. And, the fight going on before me it was just the icing on the cake to prove to me that I was right. Well, played Victoria. But, not well played enough. I wonder how you'll take the news about me? I just wish I could be there to see your face when you find out. I'm sure your expression would be priceless to see.

I was brought back to reality by a loud howl. I knew that type of howl. It was a howl of pain. I looked over to the source of the howl and my blood began to boil. Not no, but hell no. Somehow a couple of vampires had taken Jacob...my Jacob by surprise. My instincts kicked in and in a flash I was there pulling said newborns off of him and killing them all, taking pride in each and every one of them whose heads I ripped off. Serves them right. Keep your filthy vampire hands off of my Jacob.

Once he was free and the newborns were dead, Jacob turned to me. We locked eyes and I could see the confusion in his. All I could do was stare back at him, oblivious to the fact that there was still a fight going on around us. I could only hope that Jacob could see it in my eyes that I meant no harm to him or the pack and that I'd explain it all to him and them later.

Within a blink of an eye, Jacob and I were both caught off guard by another newborn. As soon as the newborn got a hold of Jake, I lost it again. But, the thought of ripping off the newborn's head off didn't seem satisfactory enough. Oh, no. I had other plans in mind for that one. I quickly reached forward with my human strength and grabbed the unsuspecting newborn, pulling him off of Jacob and pushing him to the side. The newborn was quick to correct himself and he turned towards me snarling at me. I couldn't help but smirk. Bring it on. I'm more than ready for you. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he had fallen for my trap and that he thought I was human just like I wanted him to.

"Back off," I told the newborn sternly, making him think he would actually be living past the next few seconds.

The newborn snickered at me. "What are you gonna do about it, human?" he spat.

He fed right out of the palm of my hand. What were the chances? With an evil laugh, my mouth turned up into a smirk. "Yeah, about that...I'm kinda not."

Before the newborn could even think about saying another word, I reached forward and shoved my hand through his chest pulling the newborn's heart out when I retracted my hand moments later. I could feel blood on my hand and dripping down my arm as I held his heart up and watched his body fall to the ground. Oh, how gross! I had forgotten about that. For a few months or so after a person is changed into a vampire for some odd, unexplained reason their insides are still human like while they slowly process into stone.

I laughed just as evilly as I did prior to ripping the newborns un-beating heart out of his chest. "You should know that it's not nice to play with your prey. They can easily get the upper hand if you do," I said looking down at what was left off the newborn. I held up the unbeating bloody heart as proof. "Proof is in the...heart."

I smirked and threw it down on top of the now dead newborn and pulled a lighter out of my pocket, something I always carried around with me these days. I flicked the lighter, lighting it, and then threw it onto the remains of the newborn. "Never ever gets old," I said with a sigh while shaking my head.

When I turned around, I was half surprised and half not to find not only the entire pack, in wolf forms still, standing there looking at me in surprise, but another blonde newborn. I was shocked he wasn't dead now like the rest. But, then it dawned on me. My actions probably stopped time and everyone dead in its tracks. None of them had expected me to do what I had just done. It was definitely high on the shock factor list. But, I'd deal with that, the pack, later. Right now my sights were mainly set on the blonde vampire, who looked vaguely familiar.

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"Riley," he answered.

Ah. So, that's who he was. I knew he looked familiar. "Hmm...you're the missing college student. I thought I recognized you. Victoria turn you?"

Riley nodded. "Yes."

"Good," I said and before a normal human being could even blink I was up close and personal with Riley holding him up by his shirt. Getting into his face, I said, "I want you to give her a message for me."

Riley said nothing, just looked at me intently.

"You tell her that I said Bring. It. On," I told him. "She wants to kill me...well, the feelings mutual." A lot more than anyone would ever know. Words didn't even begin to describe how much I wanted to kill her. "I'm not the same fragile human I use to be and I will personally prove it to her when _**I am**_ the one to tear her to pieces and burn the bones."

Riley opened his mouth to say something.

I wasn't having any of that. He was the messenger. That's it. He didn't get to talk or ask me any questions. I cut him off. "Oh, and, you tell her, I'll love every single second of it," I spat. "She's not the only crazy bitch in this town after someone anymore," I hissed before dropping him and pushing him away from me. "Now run along newborn," I taunted. "And, don't forget to tell her exactly, word for word, what I said. No more. No less."

Without a word, Riley disappeared into the woods somewhere.

After he was out of sight and I was sure he wasn't going to be stupid and try to come back, I slowly turned around to face the pack.

"I guess I'm going to have no choice, but to explain myself now," I sighed.

All of them stayed phased since they didn't know what I was and weren't sure whether they should trust me or not. I didn't blame them at all. If I had been them, I would've been extremely cautious, too. After all, I had been keeping such a big secret from them ever since my return to Forks. I wasn't sure how'd they take the news. Would they except me since I wasn't completely someone they should hate? Or would that not matter and my other half be the reason why I could no longer have any chance at future happiness? I was afraid to find out. But, I knew without a doubt that I had no choice in the matter but to find out now. The inevitable had crashed down upon me.

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So, there you have it, Chapter 13! Thoughts? Next chapter is the explanation. Promise! And, you'll finally find out just what Bella is. Any guesses? Review, please?

Next chapter; The explanation, obviously! About time, right?! And, you get to finally find out what Bella is!


	15. The Big Reveal

_**Well, without any further ado...the explanation chapter! Now you all can finally find out if your guesses were right or not!**_

_**Another shorter than usual chapter, but I'm assuming you can all somehow forgive me due to the fact that you finally get the explanation this chapter. Or, at least, that's what I'm hoping will happen.**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 14**

If I had to explain the situation I was in right now in one word it'd be...

Awkward.

Definitely Awkward.

There was just something so awkward about being half vamped out surrounded by a pack of wolves who just so happened to have been born to kill vampires. Yep, most definitely awkward, if you ask me.

"Alright, so, where to begin..." I started trying to figure out how to break out of this awkward situation. "So, obviously I left to go save Edward..." I began to explain.

But, of course, as soon as I said _his _name I was met by a growl from each member of the pack.

"Really?" I asked rolling my eyes and crossing my arms across my chest, glaring at them all.

After standing there in silence for a minute or so, I decided to continue.

"So, as I was saying," I sighed. "Skip a few unimportant events...blah, blah, blah...after I saved _him_ we had a run in with the Volturi."

Taking me by surprise, Jacob phased back to human then. "The Volutri?" he asked.

Wide eyed, I instantly looked away while Jacob put his shorts on quickly. "Umm...yeah, they're the higher up of all vampires," I answered taking a few moments to gather my bearings after getting a glance of...yeah. Wow. That was unexpected.

I was silent for a moment before finding my vice and continuing. "Anyways, they ended up finding out that I'm somehow able to block their powers from being used on me," I explained little by little finding it easier than saying it all at once, and this wasn't even the worst part. "Of course, my unique ability just so happened to peak their interests. And, they decided they'd keep me."

"Keep you?"

I nodded. "Yes, keep me. They decided to keep me for "experiments." I practically spat the last word out.

Okay, Bella. Now, here's the hard part. Just keep calm. You can do this. Just let it out. "I was their damn pet or subject or whatever they considered me...to experiment on for like three or four months. If it wasn't for Bridget and her sister, I'd probably still be there now. Or I'd be dead. Or worse, an actual 100% vampire." That thought made my stomach do somersaults.

I had to take a break for a few moments after that. I took a deep breath and forced myself to continue.

"The Volturi were so in awe about my ability to shield myself from vampire powers that they decided to play a little game. How long will it take for human Bella to break down and have her shield fall down. Or is the shield something that can't be broken? It was awful. Vampire after vampire was brought in...all with different special abilities. Some would get mad when their powers didn't work on me and they'd bite me."

Jacob flinched. And, the growls coming from the rest of the pack were not to be mistaken.

"You know, it's pretty much like the equivalent to a person getting mad and punching a wall or something," I explained further. "Then, you know, when I started screaming someone would hear and come in and the vampire that bit me would be forced to suck the venom out before they'd be killed themselves as punishment for almost killing and turning the "special human experiment" subject."

"How does that explain how you killed that newborn and why you're keeping away from the Cullen's for their own good?" Jacob asked taking a couple of steps towards me.

Part of me...the part of me that Jacob was born to hate...wanted to back away from him. I wasn't sure how he'd react to the rest of what I had to say. But, at the same time, the other part of me...the human part of me that Jacob had fallen for...forced me to stay put where I was. The human part of me found comfort in Jacob's closeness while I was explaining what happened to me in Volterra.

"Because ever since I healed from all of the bites..." I paused and had to take a deep breath. "I've been stronger. Not that you probably haven't noticed before now." Well, that's a given. I've had many sleep ups since my return to Forks. "And, along with my strength...I've had this uncanny lust to kill vampires. I don't know what exactly it is, but anytime I see one something inside me just screams at me to attack and kill.

"How is that poss...?" Jacob started to ask me.

I put a hand up to silence him, cutting him off. "I have a theory."

"What's your theory?" Jacob questioned taking the last step closer that brought him to right in front of me.

"Well, every time I got bit and the vampire venom got sucked out I think some of it managed to stick around," I spoke with as much conviction as I could because to be honest, I had no true evidence to support my theory. I only had what I went through myself and what I thought I knew to go on. "And, I think since it's not enough to turn me it is, however, enough to make me stronger...more vampire like without actually being a full vampire. I'm still human. But, part of me is a vampire...or something like a vampire." I probably sounded like a crazy person right now, despite being surrounded by a pack of wolves.

"So, you're half and half?" Jacob asked taking a small step back from me.

Oh, god. Here it is. He hates me now, doesn't he?

I nodded. "I think so," I whispered. "Bridget and I, from what we've researched think I'm some sort of hybrid now."

"I swear to you, I'm still mostly human. I'm just not as weak and powerless," I tried to sound as convincing as possible, but the longer Jacob stayed quiet and the more he backed away from me, the more my confidence that what I was saying wouldn't make him want to kill me was faltering. "Jake..."

He continued to slowly step back away from me.

I only had one more hopeful thing to say now. I really hope it's enough. "And, I think because of the vampire venom still coursing through my veins that it's somehow making me anti-vampire. The longer the venom is in me the more I hate vampires and everything they stand for with a fiery passion."

And, with that Jacob stopped walking backwards away from me. He looked at me, a small amount of doubt prominent in his eyes, but it slowly dissipated.

I could feel my heart thumping in my chest and I tried to keep my breathing calm.

Slowly, Jacob turned away from me towards the pack.

"You can go," he said. "It's fine."

I sighed a sigh of relief taking that as a sign of him not seeing me or what I am now as a threat.

The pack looked hesitant at first, but moments later they all, one by one, retreated an disappeared into the forest leaving just me and Jacob and a fire of burning dead vampires in the clearing.

Jacob turned back to me once the pack was completely out of sight.

I held my breath and waited for what was going to happen next.

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 14! Thoughts? Well, there it is. You now know what Bella went through and what she is now. What do you all think? Please, let me know. I'd love to know whether you all agree or not with my explanation of Bella and who she is now! Review, please?

Next chapter; Jacob and Bella are left completely alone. What could happen? Well, I know, but...eh, I'll just leave you with this..._Forgive me father for I have sinned...I have made this fic rated M. _Sorry...nope not sorry!

I figured after the long wait I made you go through with finding out what Bella is that I'd repay you with rated M material. Although, if you don't like rated M material, I made it so that you can wait until chapter 17 and you'll be filled in on what you missed in chapter 16 without actually having to read something that you possibly don't want to read.

Oh, and one more thing...just to let you know the next chapter probably won't be posted until Wednesday or Thursday. Maybe even Friday. I'm not sure as of yet.

**Warning;** So, ahead of time...if rated M scenes make you uncomfortable, then just skip the next chapter altogether and wait until Chapter 16 to read again. I'll even put (Rated M) next to the title just in case.


	16. So Wrong, So Right

**I'm so very sorry about the late update. I've been working on some of my other stories. And, then my muse decided to take herself a short break. But, I'm still working on this one, too. Hence, the new chapter! So, keep an eye out for updates here and there.**

**Oh, and thanks again for all of your continued support for the story! I can never truly thank you enough!**

**Also, as of this chapter the story is rated M, so turn back now if you're not a big fan of Rated M scenes.**

**Or you can just skip this chapter and read next chapter which will be T again. Your choice.**

**I'll be marking each Rated M chapter from now on. And, I'll be making it so that you can skip those chapters, but read the ones that aren't M and still understand anything that you may have missed in the M rated chapters.**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

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**Chapter 15**

I stood there in the middle of the clearing, just as frozen as one half of the new me, staring down at my feet. After revealing my new true identity, I couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with Jacob. So many possibilities were flying back and forth around in my head. Did he hate me? Would he want to kill me? Will we suddenly be enemies? Oh, god. What if it's all three?!

"You're a vampire," Jacob said breaking the silence as well as me from my thoughts.

I was quick to correct him. "Only partially," I replied quickly, hoping that maybe it'd help with the outcome some. "I'm still part human."

"I know."

I looked up at him this time. "You know?" I asked, dumbfounded.

He nodded. "I can smell you," he answered. "Strawberries as always," he said offering me a small smile.

It was contagious. So, therefore, I smiled right back.

"Do you hate me now?" I forced myself to ask, looking back down at my feet, even though I was scared to death of what his answer would be.

Before I knew it, he was right in front of me, forcing me to look at him.

"Never," he answered, staring deep down into my soul, without hesitation.

"Good," I breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't know what I'd do if you hated me," I admitted.

Jacob gave me a small smile and shook his head. "Don't worry. It won't happen."

"It's hard not too," I said turning to look away from him. "I'm partially what you were born to hate."

"But, you're still you," he said moving so that he was in view of me and even if I tried I couldn't look away from him this time. "And, if you were a threat you wouldn't be here right now," he forced out.

I couldn't help but shiver at the last part. It was too true for my liking.

"Sorry," Jacob apologized quickly once he realized what he had said.

I shook my head and brushed it off. "No, it's fine," I assured him. "After all, it's the truth, right?"

Jacob hesitated, but then nodded.

After a moment of silence, I answered the question that I was dreading the answer to the most.

"Where does this leave us?"

Jacob continued with his silence.

I would've taken that as my answer if he didn't step closer to me.

My breath caught in my throat and my heart beat a mile a minute as he approached me. He didn't stop to stand still until he was directly in front of me. His face only a hands length away from my own. The expression on his face was unreadable and I felt slightly afraid in that moment. I wasn't sure what he was thinking or what he was going to do.

What he asked next completely threw me off guard.

"You really came back for me."

I nodded my head quickly and didn't hesitate to reply, "I told you that I did. I meant it, Jake. I always did mean it."

Jacob leaned his head in closer to mine. "But, I'm with Haley now," he said, a hint or regret in his tone.

"I know," I replied, not trying to hide the pain in my voice.

He was taken. I had no claim on him. No matter how much I wished that I did.

Jacob moved his head even closer. "We can't do this."

It didn't take a genius for me to know what he was referring to. The look in his eyes and his current actions gave away what he was talking about.

I nodded, my entire body frozen in place, except for my head which was slowly moving to meet his in the middle. "You're right," I breathed out. "But, god do I want it to."

"I can't stop thinking about it," he admitted.

I knew without him actually saying the words that he was referring to our kiss from last night before everything happened and my personal truth came out.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he confessed.

"I can't stop thinking about you, either," I told him.

And, then before I could even blink and get with the program his heated lips were on mine sending shock waves through my entire body. The kiss was passionate, sinful, and delicious. It was like fire and ice meeting and defying all of the odds by blending into one. My body tingled with passion. It was wrong. It felt so right. I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to, which I was sure I definitely did not want to.

"Oh, Jake," I cried out when he pulled away from me.

I grabbed at him with my hands to keep him from moving away.

Neither of us cared that I still had the blood of a newborn on me and that it was getting all over us. In a sick and twisted way, it sort of made this a lot more satisfying for me. It's hard to explain, but, I guess it's just the vampire side of me taking over a certain aspect of the situation.

"Bells," he whispered and I smiled at his use of my nickname.

"Please," I said knowing that I didn't have to actually say what I wanted.

He would already know.

In an instant, our lips met up again and the next thing I knew I was being shoved back into a tree. The initial contact stung as tree bark found it's way through my shirt and dug into my back. But, it was soon overridden by the fact that I was here with Jake getting ready to do whatever it was we were getting ready to do.

I knew he had a girlfriend, so I had no intentions of going all the way with him. Not yet, anyways. But, that didn't stop me from wanting at least something. I knew anything at all was wrong, but I couldn't say no. My body wanted him in one way or another. My heart, soul, and mind were in agreeance with my body, too. So, even if I knew deep down this was wrong there would be no stopping whatever was about to happen between Jake and I.

Quite frankly, even though, I knew this was wrong, I sure as hell didn't want to be right at this point. Screw being right. Everyone goes against what's right at least a few times in their lives. This was my time to go against what was right. I was going to be wrong and I refused to feel too bad about it.

As far as I'm concerned, damn right straight to hell for the time being. It can come back when I'm done being wrong if it wants.

All possible guilt that I felt or inner turmoil I was going through was put on hold when I felt the string of my pajama pants come untied. I shivered at the contact as one of Jacob put one of his hands in my pants and trailed his fingers over me where I was already wet. Oh god! This was so wrong, but it felt so right! Who was I to stop now? Nobody apparently.

"Oh, Jake!" I cried out, pulling away from him gasping for air causing him to drop his head and press his lips against my neck, as he moved my underwear to the side and thrust two fingers into my tight channel. "Jake!"

Not wanting to be selfish and take all the pleasure for myself, I reached for the buttons of Jacob's shorts and unbuttoned them. The first chance I got, I put my hands into his pants and grabbed his erection. He was so big. Even holding him with both of my hands didn't get to him all. I'd probably need three or four hands to cover his whole length. But, I'd test that some other time when I could actually look at it. For now, I had another task at hand, no pun intended. Or maybe it was.

Turning my attention completely back to what was happening between Jacob and I, I began to move my hands up and down the length of him. It took me a minute or so to finally get on track with the thrusts of his fingers inside of me. But, before I knew it we were both getting the same amount of pleasure that we were giving each other.

I didn't even try to mask my cries, moans, and groans. I could care less who heard.

Judging by the loud sounds coming from Jacob, I was sure that he could care less as well.

"Jake," I breathed out.

Jacob stopped what he was doing to my neck and pulled away, looking straight into my eyes.

We held eye contact with each other for God only knows how long.

Not once did either of us stop our ministrations.

"Kiss me," I whispered.

And, he did.

Once again, our lips met. Except this time, the kiss wasn't all about heated passion. This kiss was slower and held more meaning. It was like with the kiss we were trying to communicate our feelings for each other without actually having to use words. Not that heated passionate kisses are bad because there not. But, in the end nothing beats a slow, meaningful one.

Even for breath, we barely pulled apart.

Our lips stayed connected until we both came together at the same time.

Afterwards, we both ended up on the ground, our legs tangled together.

I was happy and content until the guilt set in and our happiness was cut way too short.

Jacob spoke of it first.

And, I was simply crushed.

"We shouldn't have done that," Jacob said after his breathing was back to normal.

"But, we did," I reminded him.

What he said next stabbed me to the core.

"It wasn't right."

My eyes widened and I was suddenly on the defensive. "Yes, it was! Don't you dare say that this..." I paused and chose my words differently and carefully. "What happened with us just now was not wrong!" I finally settled on.

"I cheated on Haley," he said looking at me with an accusatory stare.

And, just like that realization dawned on me. Now I was matching him in the "guilty and hating yourself" department. "I'm the other woman," I whispered guiltily.

"This can't happen again," he said backing away from me.

I felt so guilty and despite being torn apart inside while doing so, I nodded my head and agreed reluctantly, "No, it can't."

"I have to go," he said quietly.

And, then in the blink of an eye he phased and was gone disappearing somewhere into the woods surrounding us.

What just happened?

* * *

So, there you all have it, Chapter 15! Thoughts? Review, please?

So, as it turns out...it's only a lime. But, a lime is better than nothing, right? Also, please don't hate me...but, you didn't honestly think they could just be completely happy now that everything is out in the open did you? Sex or almost sex doesn't always make things better. There'd be no story left to tell if that were the case. Just bare with me. I did warn you in the beginning that things wouldn't be so easy for Jacob and Bella. Didn't I?

Next chapter; Bella and Bridget have a talk that puts some things into perspective for Bella regarding the aftermath of Jacob/Bella lime and the whole imprinting issue.


	17. Life Is So Unfair

**I'm so relieved that you all don't hate me for the long wait for last chapter. Definitely a huge relief!**

**Well, anyways, here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine. I do, however, own Bridget!_

* * *

**Chapter 16**

I don't know how many hours it took me to get back home. After what transpired between Jacob and I and then him just up and leaving, my mind was all over the place. I ended up taking a very long walk in the woods hoping that the fresh air would help clear my mind. For the most part it did just that. But, at the same time the memory of what had just happened was still so strong and somehow managed to clearly stay in my mind where I'd be reminded of it for some time.

It felt like hours has passed by time I made it full circle and was walking up the front porch steps of the house. I felt like I was on autopilot because I wasn't really paying much attention to anything. I, honestly, didn't even remember walking out of the woods to the house. That's how out of it and mind fucked I was after _that. _Never had I ever thought that Jacob of all people would do something like that.

I mean, yes, I know basically he cheated on Haley. And, yes, I know that I'm the other woman now. But, at the same time, he shouldn't have just up and left. He should have stayed. We should have talked everything out. But, as always, it seemed like in difficult situations as such either I was running way, or in this case, Jacob was running away. What the hell was wrong with us that neither of us could face the truth when it came to each other.

It's like when we were together no one else existed. But, then and only when reality washed over us did either of us realize what we'd just done wrong. There was something really questionable and weird about Jacob and I's relationship, or bond, whatever it is. I just didn't know what. Was there some greater power making us act the way we did to try and tell us something without just giving it completely away? Or was I just being my usual over-thinking self and stupidly making excuses and reasons up for no real reason at all?

My thoughts were interrupted the moment I set foot in the house.

Bridget damn near knocked me over when she came around the corner to greet me just as I shut the front door. She took one look at me and her eyes widened and her jaw practically dropped to the floor. She looked me up and down a couple of times before finally looking me in the eye.

Oh god! I knew that look. She knew. Oh god, she knew!

"Oh my god, Bell!" she exclaimed, looking me up and down. "You had sex!"

Okay, so maybe she didn't know the complete truth. But, she was on the right track.

"I didn't have sex," I corrected her.

Bridget frowned and walked closer to me, sniffing. "But, you smell like you did," she said taking a step back.

"It wasn't sex, Bridge," I sighed. "Well, not exactly."

Bridget raised an eyebrow at me. "So, tab A wasn't at all inserted into slot B?"

Holy crow! How crude of her!

Now it was my turn to have wide eyes and a dropped to the floor jaw. "Bridget!" I yelled in a scolding tone. "I said it wasn't sex!"

Bridget shook her head and rolled her eyes. She chuckled to herself and turned to go to the kitchen. "Well, sorry," she sarcastically apologizing, not meaning it one bit.

I glared at her back, wishing that fire would come out of my eyes and literally burn a non-figurative hole in her back.

"What exactly was it then?" Bridget asked as I followed her into the kitchen.

"Just hands," I answered quietly, sitting down at the kitchen table.

Bridget turned and winked at me, saying with a smirk, "Well, that's better than nothing, right?"

I frowned at her. "I'm the other woman, Bridget," I told her sadly.

Bridget's smirk faded. "Oh, sorry. I wasn't even thinking about that. Let alone..." she trailed off as realization dawned on her. "Wait, it was Jake that you fooled around with!"

All I could do is nod my head.

"Oh," Bridget said quietly, turning back to the counter where she was preparing two cups of coffee.

We both were silent for the remainder of the time that Bridget was making the coffee.

"So, what happened after? Did he say anything?" she asked, breaking the silence as she turned around and walked over to the kitchen table, coffee cups in hand.

"He said it was wrong and that it couldn't happen again," I answered, feeling tears start to build in my eyes, as I took the cup that Bridget offered me.

Bridget looked completely shocked and wasn't really sure what to say. "That's horrible," she finally said, sitting down across from me at the table.

"Yeah, it really is," I agreed. "But, I told Jacob that I agreed with him," I added after a few seconds.

"You agreed that it was wrong?" Bridget asked in disbelief.

I shook my head quickly correcting Bridget's train of thought. "No, I agreed that it can't happen again."

"Oh," she was quiet for a few moments. "Well, that sucks."

"I can't be the other woman," I confessed, looking across the table at her. "I can't disrespect myself like that."

Bridget nodded, but didn't say anything.

"But, why does part of me not care if I am or not?"

"Because you love him," she stated with a sigh.

"But, for the most part, I love me, too," I told her. "Being the other woman is degrading."

Bridget nodded her head in agreement. "Yes, it is. But, you love him so much that you're willing to be anything you have to be in order to be with him."

"I know, but it's just so wrong."

"Not everyone is perfect. We don't always do what's right."

"True."

We sat in silence until Bridget broke it again.

"Why can't Jacob just leave Haley?"

I sighed and looked down at the table. "Because they're imprinted, and he can't leave her."

"Why not?" she asked, curiously.

"Because apparently being imprinted means that he has to be whatever _she_ wants him to be to her."

"What?! Seriously?! That's so awful. How the hell? That's wrong. So wrong."

"I know," I cried, no longer trying to keep my tears in. "Why couldn't he have imprinted on me, instead?!"

"Because you weren't meant to be his..." Bridget guessed without thinking.

My eyes widened and I shot up out of my chair, dropping my coffee in the process. "WHAT?! DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT TO ME, BRIDGET!"

Bridget put her cup down on the table and got up just as quickly. "Calm down, Bell!" she told me, rushing over to grab my shoulders. "I didn't mean it like that! You didn't let me finish."

I didn't reply, but looked at Bridget with a look that was giving her the signal to continue.

"You weren't meant to be his back then, Bella," she continued with her guess. "You wouldn't let Edward go."

I flinched at the mention of _his_ name. I would always love him, but he left me, and I saved him, and then I ended up being turned into a vampire hating hybrid. That's when I had finally decided to let Edward go completely. Therefore, he'd be safe and could go on living for eternity and I could return to Jacob. Unfortunately, what I found when I had returned to Forks was far from what I had expected to find.

"And, by time you did let him go, it was to late because you got turned into a half vampire, half human hybrid," Bridget went on, breaking me away from my thoughts again.

"What are you trying to get at, Bridget?" I asked, confused.

"I think that even if Jacob hadn't imprinted on Haley..." Bridget trailed off.

I flinched again, but urged Bridget on.

"I think because you're part vampire now, and Jacob was born to hate vampires and plus vampires can't procreate...all odds are stacked against you and Jacob," she finished sadly, pulling me into a tight hug as I completely broke down in her arms.

Tears were streaming down my face and I was fighting for breath that was evading me at all costs.

The higher power of all living things was against me.

I just knew it.

What had I ever done to deserve such awfulness to happen to me?

Yes, I made mistakes, but why did I have to be punished for life for them? It's not like I was the only person to ever make mistakes. Why couldn't I just learn from my mistakes like most other people? Why was the higher power and mother nature both working against me?

It wasn't fair.

It just wasn't fair.

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So, there you have it, Chapter 16! Thoughts? Review, please?

Next chapter; Bella, with Bridget as back up, dares to go to La Push to face the other pack members.


	18. There's Still Hope

**After all the recent angst, I decided to give everyone a small reprieve. For the most part this chapter will be happy and light and flirty for a certain pair that may or may not possibly blind side you all. I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 17**

After a long night of crying and very little sleep after my painful revelation, I was exhausted and all cried out. I was so sick and tired of all of my tears. I just wished I could go back to the stronger version of myself that I was before I ever got mixed up with Edward and the Cullen's and vampires as a whole. If I could go back, I would. Alright, well maybe not. 'Cause then I would've never gotten as close to Jacob as I did.

But, at the same time, I wouldn't be going through all of this pain that I was going through now. Heck, I probably wouldn't even have any idea about the supernatural, period. And, the pack would just be regular boys...well, maybe not. The Cullen's would've still more than likely come to Forks even if I hadn't. Although, if I remember correctly they were already here by time I arrived.

So, yeah, I guess that everything happened the way it did for a reason. What reason, I don't really know. Except for the fact that the way things did happen, it was probably just to screw me over. It was such an awful truth to have to learn to except. Was this really the path that was set for me all along? Was I meant to end up living for an eternity...alone, hated by the one person I truly saw myself with?

It hurt to even think about it.

"Alright! That's it, Bella!" Bridget exclaimed from the doorway of my bedroom.

"Go away," I mumbled, my face in my pillow.

"No!" she insisted.

I could hear her footsteps getting closer to me.

"Get out of bed now!" she ordered, grabbing me and rolling me over.

"I don't want to," I whined, trying to roll back over, but she wouldn't let go of me.

"Isabella Marie! You get out of this bed right now!" she demanded, yanking at me more. "Or I swear, I will pull you out of this damn bed!"

I rolled my eyes at her.

"You don't believe me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I didn't say that," I told her.

"No, but you rolled your eyes."

"So?"

"So? So, you need to get your ass out of bed because I refuse to let you stay here and sulk any longer."

I groaned.

She glared at me. "We are going to La Push today," she told me, and that did it.

I quickly sat up in bed and looked at her, wide eyed.

"Why?"

"Because, there has to be some way to make this work. Half vampire and wolf or not, you two have already proven by doing what you did last night that somehow you can make this work between you," she explained, in her always usually optimistic tone of voice.

"He's imprinted to Haley," I reminded her.

She scoffed. "And, your point being?" she asked. "Last time I checked if what you told me last night about what imprinting means, then obviously that imprint isn't so strong because if it was you and Jake would've never been able to be as intimate as you were last night."

I sat there and thought over what she said. Hmm...well, she did sort of have a point. So maybe there was hope still, after all? Well, you know what, even the slightest bit of hope is worth going for. There was no point in me giving up just yet. Not when all hope was yet to be lost.

With a small smile, I nodded my head. "Alright, let's go."

Bridget grinned from ear to ear. "Great!" she said cheerfully. "Alright, get dressed and we'll go."

With that she turned and practically skipped out of the room to give me some privacy.

**~CCC~**

It wasn't until we were already passing the La Push and Forks border that I remembered the other part of what happened last night. The pack all knew my story and what I was now. Would they accept me? Would they not trust me? Would they hate me? Oh, god! All of the possibilities. They truly scared me to death.

But, with Bridget as my back up, I forced myself to get a grip and not turn around and run and hide. I would never know how it would truly go if I didn't face my fears. So, I would suck it up, and go for it. I mean, what's the worst that could happen. They would turn me away and threaten me to stay away, right? Right. So, that I could handle...I think. But, hopefully that's not what it would come to.

Oh, great. Here I go with my doubtful over thinking again.

"Over thinking isn't always a good thing, you know?" Bridget spoke up as if she had read my mind, but it wasn't that, it was just that she'd come to know me quite well over the eight months or so that we'd known each other.

"I know," I replied with a sigh.

"It'll be fine," she assured me.

"I sure hope so."

"No, don't hope, so" she scolded me. "Know so."

"I'll try."

She shook her head. "No, don't try," she scolded again. "Do."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, fine."

Gosh! She was so persistent.

**~CCC~**

"There's no need to worry about Bella going all vampire," Bridget rolled her eyes, answering an unasked, as we walked into Sam and Emily's house to come face to face with a pack of very on alert shape-shifters.

I smiled and nodded my head. "Yeah, what she said." Then, I proceeded to go into explanation mode, "I only vamp out when a vampire is around. Plus, when I do vamp out it's against actual vampires. Not anyone else," I paused, looking from one to the other. "Promise," I added, trying to hide my nervousness.

It was completely silent for a few minutes. So silent that you could even here a pin drop.

So, it was no surprise, how happy I was when the silence was ended.

"Well, it'll be nice not to have to save the damsel in distress anymore," Embry said with a smile.

It took me a moment to realize what he said and what it meant, but when I did, I was completely relieved and beyond happy.

I rolled my eyes at him and replied sarcastically, "Gee, thanks!"

"Anytime," he smiled, winking at me.

There was no doubt in my mind that he meant that either.

"It'll also be entertaining to see you go all out into badass vampy vampire hunter mode more often," Quil joked.

"It is pretty awesome," I laughed. "I never did understand why it always seemed that you were all itching for a vampire that you could kill come along," I told them. "But, now I totally get it."

"Welcome to the wild side," Seth joked, his mouth full of muffins, as usual.

I decided to play along and continued the joke with a wink, "It's great to be here!"

"So, you wanna slap me again and see what happens?" Paul asked with a pompous smirk on his face.

I should have known he'd say something or other like that.

I looked over at him and smirked, "Just remember, I can easily kick your ass now, if need be."

"Now that we have to see," the whole pack laughed.

Paul raised an eyebrow at me. "That a challenge?"

I shrugged my shoulders, nonchalantly, "Do you want it to be?"

Bridget rolled her eyes. "Oh, geez." She shook her head and and laughed from her place next to me. "Here we go."

Paul grinned. "Sure let's do it."

Before I could reply, Bridget beat me to it.

"You sure you wanna do that?"

Paul turned his attention to Bridget. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged. "Wouldn't wanna ruin your tough guy reputation by being beat by a girl, would you."

Paul scoffed in an amused manner. "Like that would ever happen."

Bridget had a mischievous grin on her face. "She's pretty strong."

"So am I," he retorted.

Bridget proceeded to look him up and down and not so subtly licked her lips before replying, "Oh, I'm sure."

Oh, Bridget. You will never change will you.

I watched the exchange between Bridget and Paul silently just as the rest of the pack did. It wasn't hard to tell what was going on between them. I wondered if they themselves knew. Or if it was going right over there heads? Which, I almost completely doubted the latter. So, they knew what they were doing. Quite frankly, all of us did.

I shook my head and laughed silently to myself before I felt the sudden urge to look towards the door. When I did give into the urge, and looked away from Paul and Bridget, my breath caught in my throat and I was frozen in place. There in the doorway stood Jacob. And, to my extreme relief, as well as surprise, there was no Haley in sight.

He was alone.

Thank you, God!

* * *

So, there you have it, Chapter 17!

Anyone catch onto the possible future pairing that I was hinting at? What are your thoughts on it? Would you all be on board with it if I decide to go for it?

Thoughts? Let me know! Review, please?

Next chapter; Jacob and Bella alone together...again. What could happen? Will they be able to keep their hands off each other? Or will passion take over?

**Warning;** So, ahead of time...if rated M scenes make you uncomfortable, then just skip the next chapter altogether and wait until Chapter 19 to read again.


	19. Sweetest Sin

_**This chapter is rated M, so skip it if you aren't a fan of smut. You've been warned!**_

_**And, if you do read, then hopefully you'll enjoy it! Fingers crossed!**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 18**

I would be lying if I said I wasn't jumping for joy inside. Seeing Jacob here without Haley by his side...gosh, I can't even begin to describe just how joyful I felt. It was as if my biggest prayers had been answered. But, before I jumped the gun and just started assuming about why Haley wasn't here, I should probably find out first. That way I don't get my hopes to far up. 'Cause it would suck completely for them to be crushed.

I could still hear Bridget and Paul bantering back and forth behind me. But, all I could focus the most of my attention on was Jacob standing in the doorway, Haley less, looking straight at me. The world could have ended right then and there and I would have been absolutely oblivious to the fact.

Jacob looked away from me to where Paul and Bridget were.

Almost mechanically, I did the same.

Everyone was paying attention to what was going on between Paul and Bridget. So, apparently, none of them had sensed Jacob's presence yet.

I looked back just in time to see him looking at me again.

He nodded his head outside, and mouthed to me, "Take a walk with me."

I didn't answer or move right away. I just looked at him.

"Please, Bells?" he mouthed.

Stupid nickname and its power over me!

I nodded and mouthed back, "Okay."

Quickly and quietly, I turned around and followed Jacob outside.

**~CCC~**

We walked, following the gravel driveway, to the road in complete silence. It wasn't until we made it to the road and started walking in the direction of Jacob's house that he broke the silence. Apparently, we were enough out of hearing range to talk about whatever it was now.

"I'm sorry I ran," he apologized, cutting right to the chase.

"I know," I said quietly, and really I did.

Jacob sighed and stopped walking abruptly.

Once I noticed he had stopped, I did, too. Confused, I turned around to face him.

He had his hands placed nervously in the pockets of his cutoffs and was looking at his feet, which to my surprise he was actually wearing shoes, not something I was at all used to. I, also, noticed that he was wearing a shirt for once. To my surprise, or not surprise, I didn't like that fact. As far as I was concerned, he should never wear a shirt again. It was such a loss to everyone when he did wear one.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, moving closer to him.

He shook his head. "Nothing," he answered.

"Then what..." I started to answer.

He cut me off, looking up at me, suddenly.

I gasped when I realized how close we were. Our faces were only inches apart. I felt a familiar tightening in my stomach and was frozen in place.

"I can't stop thinking about yesterday," he confessed.

"I can't either," I admitted.

"It wasn't the right timing."

I agreed. "No, it wasn't."

"But, no matter how hard I try..." he trailed off. "I just can't find it in me to completely regret it, though."

I shook my head. "Nor can I."

"Bells..." he breathed.

As if I could read his mind and knew exactly what he was thinking, I blurted out, "Jake...I need you."

"I need you, too, Bells."

Before I knew what was happening, we were in the woods and I was being pressed up against a tree and we were kissing like our lived depended on it.

Talk about Déjà vu.

Once again, we both knew it was wrong to be doing what we were doing. I mean, I wasn't sure if Haley was still in the picture or not. So, I was knowingly possibly going to be the other girl again. We definitely shouldn't be doing this. But, for the life of us, neither of us could seem to pull away. We really did try, though.

I pulled away, he kissed me again.

He pulled away, I kissed him again.

We both pulled away and we both kissed each other again.

It was so wrong, but it just felt so right. And, guilt be damned for a few hours, but I just couldn't let Jacob go again. I had made that mistake before and it had nearly killed us both. I couldn't...I wouldn't do it again. If that meant being the other girl for a second time, then screw it. I'd deal with the disgust I felt later. I just didn't give a damn right now.

God only knows how much time passed before we finally pulled away, gasping for air.

"There's no one at my house," Jacob managed to say through much needed breaths.

Breathing heavily, I replied, not daring to second guess what was happening, "Okay, let's go!"

**~CCC~**

Not surprisingly, we almost didn't even make it to the house. It was quite difficult to make it there in one piece the way we did, but the whole way to the house we somehow managed to keep our hands all over each other. Neither of us was willing to stop touching, kissing, or both touching and kissing each other.

Once at the house, I'm not really sure what happened. All I remember is the sound of a door banging against the wall behind it, and then it slamming, practically shaking the house. Not that Jacob or I cared. The house could have fallen down around us and it wouldn't have made a difference.

The next thing, I remembered was my back hitting a closed door. I assumed it was the door to Jacob's bedroom. But, I wouldn't be finding out anytime soon because it was obvious we wouldn't be making it past said door. We were too much in a hurry and too hungry, for lack of better word, for each other to make it any farther.

Clothes were torn and thrown haphazardly onto the floor, or wherever.

In the next moment, we were skin on skin, and it was probably the best feeling I'd felt in a long time. And, yes that included I felt even better than I did last night when I was with him. This time there was absolutely nothing separating us from each other. It was amazing.

In a hurry, we both silently agreed to skip over foreplay. Last night was our foreplay. Now was just about pure passion, pure need. The need to be joined as one, once and for all. It was so sinful, but it was so right. In a weird way that only we could and would ever be able to understand when it came to each other.

"No need to go slow," I moaned as he trailed kisses down my neck. "Please, just be in me."

"It'll hurt," he said, pulling away, looking at me with a concerned expression on his face.

I groaned and wiggled around making sure that my wet heat came in contact with his throbbing hard on.

"I'm part vampire now remember," I told him, breathing heavily. "I have a higher tolerance for pain than I use to."

And, that was all Jake needed to hear. His hips snapped forward and he was buried inside me to the hilt. I gasped out as a mixture of pleasure and a sting of pain coursed through me. Okay, so maybe I had overestimated what my body could take. Half vampire or not, my human side was taking control of me in this instance and it hurt like hell and was extremely uncomfortable.

Yet, in my fucked up, sadistic mind, I wouldn't have it any other way. And, it was all because of who I was with now. Jacob Black, My Jacob. I couldn't imagine giving myself to anyone else. Here and now, and with Jacob...it was just perfect. Everything, pain and pleasure set aside, it was truly perfect.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, and smiled an assuring smile at him. "Yeah, just give me a second. I just overestimated what my body could take."

Jacob frowned and started to pull away. "I hurt you, Bells."

My eyes widened. "No, no, no!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him. I wrapped them tightly around him pulling him back to me. "Don't. It's fine. I'm fine."

To prove my point, I clenched my walls around him, and we both moaned.

"Bells..." he started to protest, looking at me with a serious expression on his face.

"No, Jake!" I told him. "Just wait a second. I promise you didn't hurt me. It's a good kind of pain."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I promptly shut him up by kissing him.

A minute or two later, the pain had subsided, thanks to the vampire in me, and I was ready to continue.

I pulled away and smiled at him. "You can move now."

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking at me doubtfully.

I nodded, bucking my hips against his. "Now, Jake! Move!" I ordered.

And, that's exactly what he did.

He started off at a slow pace, but thanks to my begging, he sped up with each and every thrust. Before long each thrust was ending with my back hitting the door behind me. I would honestly be surprised if the door was still up right, on it's hinges, and didn't have a dent in it by time we were done.

With every thrust, Jacob was hissing as my nails dug deep on his back. I trailed my nails down his back, probably leaving scratches down his back. But, sadly the scratches would be gone by time we were done. Stupid wolf healing. At least, they were there for now, though.

It was then that I smelled it. Blood. More importantly, Jacob's blood. My mouth was practically watering. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Can I bite you?"

Immediately, Jacob stopped moving and leaned back.

Oops. Maybe that wasn't a smart thing to say.

"Did I just hear you, right?" he asked me, shock written all over his face.

I bit my lower lip and nodded.

He stayed silent, just looking at me weirdly.

I suddenly felt the urge to explain myself. "It's not dangerous," I assured him. "Bridget and I did some experiments," I explained. "And, I guess that because I'm still partially human that as long as I'm in my human form or something like that, I don't produce venom like a regular vampire, so it's not like it's..."

"Alright," he cut me off off.

Now it was my turn to be shocked.

"Alright?" I asked him thinking that maybe my ears were playing tricks on me.

He nodded his head. "You can bit me."

"You're serious?"

"Yes."

"O...okay."

Oh my god! He really was serious. I was so sure he'd be repulsed by the idea as soon as the words left my mouth. Holy crow! Was this really happening? Or was this just some great dream that was some sort of sick prank being played on me by my subconscious?

"I trust you," Jacob told me as he slowly started moving inside me again.

I smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. "Thank you."

He smiled in return as he kissed me back.

Moments later, he was back to thrusting in and out of me at the same speed as before.

I could feel the familiar tightening in my stomach and knew that I was very close to my orgasm.

"Almost there, Jake," I moaned against his lips.

The next thing I knew, Jacob's hand was between my legs, rubbing roughly at my clit. I pulled away from his lips and dipped my head down to his neck, and bit down just as I clenched hard around him and came.

Almost immediately after I bit him, I heard Jacob scream and felt him release inside of me.

Apparently, biting during sex so close to an orgasm was a good thing for both parties. Or could it be that maybe because I was partially a vampire that biting during sex worked like it did on all those vampire shows? Oh, the possibilities.

The almost forbidden, delicious taste of his blood as I drank from him like a druggie needing another hit, prolonged my orgasm.

This moment was truly the most sweetest sin there was.

* * *

So, there you have it, Chapter 18! Thoughts? Review, please?

And, yes, I did just write that!

Next chapter; The aftermath of JBex! I'm pretty sure we can all agree that Bella and Jacob need to talk things through (even if it would've been better to do before they slept together) instead of one or both running away from what happened. So, next chapter...expect a talk between them. And, what will be the repercussions of the talk?


	20. The Power of Blood

**Thank you for all of the continued support!**

**'Cause I'm feeling very generous today, here's another new chapter!**

**Also, I didn't have any intention to write another M rated scene at first, but that's just how it came out. So I hope you enjoy the extra rated M.**

**Warnings; sex and COUGHhint*title*hintCOUGH (Turn back now if you know/think that either will offend you!)**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 19**

A few minutes later we were sitting on the floor against the still closed bedroom door basking in the afterglow of our first time together. I was positioned comfortably in his lap with my head against his chest. His arms were wrapped around me keeping me in place. Not that I would move even for the world itself at this point.

"Wow."

"I know."

"I never knew it could be like that."

"Me neither."

"How?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I honestly have no idea." And, I was being honest.

I mean, I saw it on different vampire TV shows plenty of times, but I never actually thought there was some truth to it.

"Well, whatever it is and however it works, I hope it never goes away."

I nodded my head against his chest. "Agreed."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before my mind so rudely threw me back into reality. A thought that I had been trying to keep out of my mind for the past few minutes came at me full force and was now front and center in my thoughts. As much as I wanted to stay in comfortable silence for a while longer, I knew that I couldn't.

With a sigh, I managed to sit up and look at him.

"What is it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I know that we kind of screwed all of this up by having sex first..." I momentarily trailed off. "But I think we should actually talk about things now."

Jacob sighed, but agreed. "Yeah, we really should."

Taking a deep breath, I looked him dead in the eyes. "Alright, first thing's first..." I trailed off, afraid of the response I would receive for what I was about to say. "And, please, Jake, be completely honest with me. Please," I begged him. "Don't lie to make me feel better or anything."

Jacob nodded in understanding. "Okay. I promise I won't lie to you," he assured me.

Swallowing the nervous lump in my throat, I tried to get out what I wanted to say. "You weren't...you had already...you already..."

Jacob looked at me confused and concerned. "Spit it out, Bells."

Looking down at my hands, where I was nervously playing with them in my lap, I forced myself to blurt out what I wanted to say as a question. "You weren't a virgin were you?

I was met by complete silence.

That's what I thought. Tears welled up in my eyes and swallowed the lump into my throat. The tears weren't because I now knew that he'd slept with Haley. The tears were for the fact that I could have easily prevented everything that had happened with me, with him and Haley...it could have all been prevented had I given into his pleas and stayed with Jacob.

Surely, Alice could have gotten to Volterra in time and somehow convinced Edward that I was still alive. I didn't actually have to go myself, but I did. I did because even though I was feeling something more for Jacob at that time, I was still naive enough to have not let Edward go completely. It took me going to Volterra, being held captive, and being turned into a hybrid for me to finally let Edward go.

In the process, I ruined what could have been with Jacob.

But, I knew that as much as the truth pained me, I couldn't let it control me and what would happen from now on. I had to rise above it and move on. All that mattered was that Jacob was here. With me. Right now. Nothing else mattered. Especially not the past. Only the present and future mattered.

"I'm so sorry, Bells," Jacob finally broke the silence, his voice faltering.

I shook my head quickly, and wiped the tears that managed to fall away from my face. "It's fine, Jacob," I told him, not being able to find it in me to look at him as I said it.

"Bella..."

I forced myself to look at him, and gave him a small smile, which was surprisingly genuine. "I swear it's fine," I said with a sigh. "Let's not worry about the past. What happened, happened. There's no way to change it."

I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince. Me? Him? Or both of us? Probably the latter.

"So, let's just let it go," I said, leaning down to hide my face in his neck.

That's when I noticed it. It was still there.

I quickly leaned back again.

"What is it, Bells? What's wrong?" Jacob asked concerned, noticing the look on my face.

"Lean forward," I ordered.

He looked confused, but did I said.

Once he leaned forward, I felt his back to see if the scratches I had left were still there. But, they weren't. Why the hell was the bite mark still there, then?

"Bells?" he questioned.

"The bite mark is still there," I told him. "But, the scratches aren't."

"It's still there?"

In an instant, still holding me, Jacob stood up.

He set me down on my feet and walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall.

"I'll be damned," he muttered under his breath.

"This isn't good. If the pack were to see that..."

"It probably wouldn't go very well," Jacob finished for me, turning around to face me.

I frowned. "Just when they accepted me for what I was, too."

What the hell is it with me and bad things freaking happening?! One after another, after another.

Wait a second!

"I know what to do!" I exclaimed suddenly, remembering the results of another one of my experiments with Bridget.

"What?" Jacob asked.

Oh, how was I going to break this to him.

"Umm...well..." I trailed off.

"What is it Bella?" he asked, walking up to me.

"Well, you'd have to...you'd have to..."

"Have to what?"

Looking down at the floor, I whispered, "Drink from me."

At first, Jacob was completely silent. But, then he spoke up.

"I'd have to drink from you?"

I nodded and slowly looked up at him. "Another one of my experiments with Bridget showed that for whatever reason my blood has the power to heal wounds."

More silence fell between us.

"Alright."

Shock me for the second time today, why don't you?

"Seriously?"

He nodded his head and shrugged. "Like I said before, Bells," he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I looked at him and waited for him to finish what he was going to say.

"I trust you," he smiled, leaning forward to kiss me.

Oh, what a relief.

I smiled and kissed him back.

A minute or so later, we pulled apart.

"Alright, how are we going to do this?" Jacob asked.

I shrugged honestly having no clue how to answer him. "I don't know."

He thought for a moment, before taking my hand. "Come on," he said, leading me to his bedroom.

Once inside, he closed and locked the door.

Jacob walked over and sat down on his bed, pulling me into his lap, so that I was straddling him.

"Okay, let's do it," he said, taking a deep breath.

I nodded and brought my wrist up to my mouth. "You're absolutely sure?" I asked, double checking. "I don't want to do this if you don't truly want to."

Jacob sighed and leaned forward resting his forward on mine. "I trust you," was all he said.

I smiled and bit down on my wrist, hissing as my teeth cut through my skin.

Once I tasted my blood, I leaned back and brought my wrist up to Jacob's mouth.

We looked at each other and kept our eyes locked as he latched onto my wrist and started drinking.

Surprisingly, as he drank from me he was moaning as my blood hit his taste buds. I had only thought that vampires liked blood. But, his moans were proving me wrong. Maybe it was just my blood for whatever reason. Oh, how great that would be?

Oh god! To actually think that I thought only ten minutes or so ago that drinking his blood was the most sweetest sin there was. I'm pretty sure, I was being proven wrong right now. The feeling of him drinking from me was so mind-blowing, I could barely contain myself.

I watched enthralled as he drank from me, and slowly the bite mark faded away.

Between us, the more he drank, the harder he got.

I was extremely happy to know that I wasn't the only one getting turned on by this.

Without a second thought, I moved myself so that I was resting my weight on the bottom half of my legs, hovering over him. I wasted no time impaling myself on him.

We both moaned at the contact, and my wrist fell from his fell from his mouth.

In an instant, he was kissing me and I could taste my own blood. God, it was so sinfully delicious.

Needing more, I lifted myself almost completely and then dropped back down.

Jacob placed his hands on my hips and helped me in the motions.

Up. Down. Harder. Up. Down. Faster. Up. Down. Faster and Harder.

Moan after moan.

Groan after groan.

There wasn't a single sexual sound that wasn't escaping either one or both of us.

"Oh god!" I moaned, grabbing onto Jacob's shoulders for leverage as he pulled me down onto him and bucked his hips at the same time. "Jake!"

Still needing more, I moved my hands over his and brought them up to my breasts.

Taking the hint, he kneaded my breasts and ran his fingers back and forth over my already hard nipples.

I was panting like a cat in heat as I took over the motions and forcefully moved up and down on his cock, purposely clenching around him each time to hear the sounds coming from his mouth.

After a few minutes of the same motions, I felt the tightening in my stomach. "Jake, I...I'm..."

I didn't even have to finish what I was saying.

He got the memo loud and clear.

In the next moment, one of his hands was rubbing my clit while the other one wrapped around the back of my neck and pulled me down until our lips met in a forceful kiss. I could swear that I was suddenly in heaven. We kissed until I was right on the edge.

I quickly pulled away and brought my wrist back up to Jacob's mouth.

He swallowed and looked at me.

I nodded.

Without hesitation, his mouth was once again on my wrist, his hands holding me to him.

Yeah, as if I'd pull away.

The moment I felt my blood leaving me, I leaned down and bit into the side of his neck that I hadn't bitten into the last time.

As before, it was the most sweetest sin.

It was perfect.

**~CCC~**

Afterwards, we were both basking in the afterglow of our second time. I was still sitting in his lap, with my head on his chest, as well as him still inside of me. Due to my inability to procreate now, it wasn't really that big of a deal for him to pull out. Which, admittedly, I was actually kind of relieved and happy about.

"That was even better the second time," Jacob said, breaking the silence between us.

"Agreed," I smiled, reluctantly, getting off of him, and rolling over so that I could rest of back against his chest. "Oh shit!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Jacob asked, turning his head to look at me.

I was full of laughter at this point.

"What's so funny?"

Between fits of laughter, I managed to answer, "We...broke...the...bed!"

"We what?" he asked, looking down.

Sure enough we were on the mattress, which was now on the floor.

Soon, Jacob joined me in my fits of laughter.

"I was not aware of that," he laughed.

I shook my head as my laughter died down to giggles. "You need a bigger, more sturdy bed," I said, leaning my head against his shoulder, looking up at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, 'cause this room would fit a bigger bed," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, right." I looked around the room. "How will you explain your broken bed, then?"

He shrugged. "Hopefully, it'll never come to that."

"Knowing your luck, it probably will," I teased.

"Haha!"

"You know it's true."

In the next moment, I was regretting my words.

"No, stop, Jake!" I exclaimed trying to get away from him.

"Say sorry," he laughed, tickling me without any end in sight.

"No, I won't apologize!" I told him, refusing to surrender.

"Then, no I won't stop tickling you."

"Ah!" I screamed, squirming some more.

Even with my acquired vampire strength, I couldn't seem to get out of his grip. But, of course, being my stubborn self, I refused to surrender, so I decided to cheat. I would not say sorry. However, I would say something even better. 'Cause I had no idea if I'd ever get the chance to say what I wanted to say again.

Suddenly, the mood changed from playful to serious.

Jacob noticing the mood change, stopped tickling me.

In our new position, he towered over me.

He looked down at me, and I looked up at him. We were locked in another intense gaze.

"What is it, Bells?" he asked.

I really have no idea why, but I was crying now, and I felt the need to confess everything I was feeling right then and there. And, that's exactly what I did.

"I love you Jake. I've always loved you. I'm in love with you. And, regardless, of you being imprinted to Haley nothing will ever change that. I know that I can't give you kids and it sucks that that's why we can't be together, but I'm in love with you. I always will be," I told him pouring my heart and soul into my confession.

"I love you, too, Bella. You already know that. You've always known it. I'm in love with you, too. And, as much as I would love to have kids and continue the wolf heritage, I'd rather have all that with you."

"But, you can't," I cried, tears pouring down my face.

Jacob gave me a sad smile. "I know," he said quietly. "But, that's fine."

"What?" I asked, shocked by his words.

"As long as I have you, I'll be happy," he told me.

The tears quickly turned from sad tears to happy tears. "Oh, Jacob," I smiled through the tears.

I leaned up and pressed my lips gently to his before laying back down.

Jacob just looked at me intently and whispered, "Bells."

There was an instant, noticeable change in the atmosphere of the room.

But, at the moment, Jacob and I were only focused on each other.

* * *

So, there you have it, Chapter 19! Thoughts? Review, please?

Yes, I did write that as well! And, I assure you, there's a reason for it. It's not just there to be there. Any guesses?!

Next chapter; Jacob and Bella learn something about Jake's imprint on Haley and their connection. And, also...someone from Bella's past returns. Yikes! Who could it possibly be? And, what exactly does the person want?


	21. The Bond

_**I am on a roll today! Here's the next chapter of CrushCrushCrush! I really hope you all enjoy it!**_

_**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 20**

It was almost hard to believe that yesterday had actually happened. It seemed like something that would come straight out of my dreams. But, the tingling feeling that I was feeling throughout my body was all the proof I needed that yesterday had in fact truly happened. Not that I needed more proof, but the fact that I couldn't stop humming or smiling either was even more proof.

For the first time in over a year, I felt the happiest that I'd ever been. Nothing could possibly ruin my mood. Anything or anyone could try, but it or they would fail miserably. I was so happy and I felt so complete that I was so high up in the sky, I would never come down.

"Bella!" I heard a voice call from downstairs.

I quickly recognized it and ran out of my room.

From the top of the stairs, I could see that he was grinning.

I couldn't stop from grinning back just as wide. It was just so contagious.

"Guess what?" he asked, looking up at me.

"What?" I questioned, curiously.

"Bells..." he started and paused. "The imprint is broken."

With those four words, it was as if everything fell completely into place.

"What?! How?!" I asked, shocked.

"I don't know," he answered, honestly just as shocked as me. "But, it's broken!"

"That...that's..." I didn't know how to describe it.

"Great?!" Jacob offered. "Phenomenal?! A dream come true?!"

"All of the above!" I exclaimed, running down the stairs and jumping into his open arms.

"It makes no sense, but it's broken and there isn't anything separating us anymore," Jacob said, smiling against my neck.

I know it wasn't the best time, but I couldn't help but wonder.

"Wait, what about Haley?" I asked, pulling back from him as he lowered me back to the floor.

"I broke up with her," he answered without hesitation. "The other day, actually."

My eyes widened. That was definitely unexpected.

"You did?"

He shook his head. "After what happened between us the other day, I just knew that things between Haley and I weren't like they used to be."

"What do you mean by that?" I wondered out loud.

"I mean, that I would've never been able to go as far as I did with you that day if the imprint was still in effect. It would've hurt too much. Then, yesterday..." he trailed off. "The imprint broke completely yesterday. Haley said she felt different, just as I did...and it was sometime after we..."

"Oh," was all I could say when I realized what he meant. "And, she's okay with..." I started to ask.

"It's fine, Bella," Jacob assured me. "She said she understands."

I sure hope so.

With her back and forth from bitch to nice and then back to bitch, I don't know if I actually believe her.

And, then what Jacob had just said actually sunk in.

"Wait a second. You said that after we...well, that's when you felt the change..."

Jacob nodded.

Oh, wow.

"You don't think that maybe..." I paused. "Umm...that maybe...us sharing...blood...had something to do with the imprint breaking completely, do you?"

Jacob thought about it for a moment before answering, "I never thought about that. It's a possibility, I guess."

"Oh, wow," I breathed out. "I need to call Bridget," I said moments later.

"Why?"

"She'll know what's going on," I answered, confidently.

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "How?"

Oh, shoot!

"Umm..." I started, turning and walking towards the kitchen. "It's hard to explain."

**~CCC~**

The second Bridget walked into the house, she let out an eardrum shattering squeal.

"You two totally had sex!" she exclaimed, looking from me to Jacob and back to me.

I rolled my eyes.

So typical of her.

"Oh god!" I moaned. "Seriously, Bridget?!"

"Oh, I'm so very happy for you two!" she said cheerfully, hugging us both. "It's about damn time!" she laughed when she stepped back. "So, what'd you call me for?"

"Well, we need your help with figuring something out."

"Alright, shoot."

"Umm...well, umm..." I had no idea how to say what I needed to say.

I turned my head to look at Jacob.

"We're trying to figure out how Haley and I's imprint broke after we...well, you know," Jacob said, taking over the conversation for me.

I sighed a sigh of relief and smiled.

Bridget looked to be in thought for a moment before she asked, "Well, did you both drink from each other?"

Jacob and I shook our heads.

"How many times?" she asked.

Oh, god. Was all of this really necessary?

"Umm...well, a couple times," I answered, truthfully deciding that she wouldn't ask unless it was necessary to figuring out what happened with the imprint and all.

"How many times exactly, and who drank from who each time?"

This was so awkward.

"Umm..."

"She drank from me first," Jacob answered.

"Yeah, what he said," I said, shaking my head in agreement.

"Okay, go on," Bridget urged.

"Then, I drank from her to get rid of the bite mark," Jacob continued.

"And, we drank from each other at the same time when I bit him again," I finished.

Bridget was quiet and looked deep in thought for a minute before breaking out into a huge smile. "Well, then congrats!" she exclaimed.

Jacob and I looked at each other confused and then at Bridget.

"Congrats for what?" we both asked in tandem.

"You're blood bonded," Bridget announced.

Both of us went wide eyed.

"We're what?" I asked.

"Blood bonded?" Jacob asked at the same time as me.

Bridget nodded her head. "It's the strongest bond that there is in the supernatural community."

Okay, so then that meant...

"So, what exactly are you saying?" I questioned her.

"I'm saying that the imprint was broken because the blood bond between the two of you is unbreakable and too strong for the imprint to compete with," Bridget explained in a matter of fact tone.

"So, we're..." I started to say.

Bridget cut me off, knowing exactly what I was about to ask, "Bonded for life. Or eternity, depending on how you two decide to live."

Silence filled the room as Jacob and I turned to look at each other.

"Alright, well, I have to go change clothes," Bridget said, breaking the silence.

I looked away from Jacob and towards Bridget. "Why?"

Bridget shrugged and answered with a sly smirk, "No reason."

"You have a hot date or something?" I guessed, jokingly.

"Maybe," Bridget winked.

Realization dawned on me quickly. "Wait! Already?!"

Bridget grinned as her way of answering.

"But, it's only been a day!"

"Yeah, and?" Bridget asked, nonchalantly. "Your point being?"

"Am I missing something here?" Jacob cut in.

I looked at him and simply said, "Paul."

Jacob's eyes widened and he looked from me to Bridget. "Really?"

Bridget just smiled. "Why not?" Then, she turned and left the room.

Jacob looked back at me and asked, "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I honestly don't know," I answered, and it really was the truth. "I guess, we'll just have to wait and find out."

Suddenly, out of the blue, the atmosphere seemed to change again.

"Umm, Bells...why are your eyes turning golden?" Jacob asked, taking a step back away from me.

"Oh, they always do that when a vampire is near by," I answered, and then it hit me.

Why the hell was there a vampire near by?

Jacob suddenly caught a whiff of the vampire's scent and turned away, growling at the front door just as a knock was heard.

Weird. Well, it couldn't be just any vampire if they were knocking.

Jacob moved towards the door, and opened it slowly.

I was frozen in place, however. Well, my human side was. But, as more of my vampire half started taking over, I found the strength to turn around and was shocked to see a certain pixie vampire I never thought I'd see again standing there in the doorway.

I could feel my blood start to boil, not that I could control it. It's just what happens now when a vampire is around. I was truly shocked.

"Alice?"

* * *

So, there you have it, Chapter 20! Thoughts? Review, please?

Next chapter; Alice has returned. But, why? Also, Bella's control is tested. And, Bella and Jacob have a talk about their new found bond/relationship.


	22. Lose Control

_**Thanks for your continued support for the story!**_

_**Also, good news! CrushCrushCrush has been planned out completely! It will be 28 chapters and Epilogue in all!**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 21**

"Alice?" I asked again, wondering if maybe my mind was playing tricks on me or something.

The continuous growling coming from Jacob was proof enough, though, that Alice was really here.

Alice's voice broke me out of my trance. "Can you please get the mutt to leave us alone for a while, Bella? He reeks," she said, turning her head to look at him. "No offense, mutt."

"His name is Jacob, Alice," I told her sternly. "Use it."

Alice frowned, but relented, anyways. "Sorry," she apologized, half genuine and half fake. "No offense, Jacob."

Jacob turned to look at me.

I nodded and smiled. "You know I'll be fine," I assured him.

Jacob still seemed doubtful, and I didn't blame him.

A part of me didn't believe I'd be fine either. Not with my hatred for vampires. I'm, surprised that I was even remotely calm right now. Maybe it had something to do with Jacob being here. He always seemed to calm me down just by his mere presence.

"Bridget is upstairs still," I reminded him. "So, go on," I urged. "I promise to call you later."

Jacob finally smiled back and nodded his head. "Okay," he said, kissing my forehead, then my nose, then my lips. "I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too, Jake."

Jacob turned and smirked at Alice, which received an eye roll from me.

"Is that really necessary?" Alice asked.

"More than you know," Jacob answered, kissing me one last time before turning and leaving. "See you later, Bells!"

"You, too!" I called after him just as the door closed.

A few minutes of silence passed before Alice finally broke it.

"So, I see you've moved on," she said quietly.

I ignored her question and asked my own, "Why are you here, Alice?"

"Alright, straight to the point it is, then," she muttered under her breath. "I had a vision," she told me.

A vision? Of course, she did.

"What kind of vision?" I asked her curiously.

"Edward was killed," she answered sounding extremely put out.

Umm...okay. Why would I care about her having a vision about Edward being killed? Alright, well, in all fairness she doesn't know what I am now. So, how would she know any different?

Truly curious, I raised an eyebrow and asked, "That has to do with me how exactly?"

"It was you."

Huh? It was me? What the hell did that mean?

"What was me?"

"In my vision..." Alice started, but trailed off. "You killed Edward," she finally finished.

Oh, okay. I get it. It now all made sense.

"Did I now?" I asked trying to sound as interested as I really was.

I didn't want to sound like a serial killer or someone who enjoyed the thought of killing. I just couldn't help it, though. I was like a half human, half vampire...vampire killer now. It was in my blood to be interested about things like this.

"Why are you going to kill Edward?" Alice asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "I'm not," I told her. "Or, at least, I'm not aware just yet that I am."

Alice gave me a weird look. "I only get visions when someone has made a decision," she reminded me.

"I didn't..." I started, but paused.

Oh, right. Duh. I was a hybrid now. How was it possible for me to keep forgetting that? I wanted to kill any vampire I came into contact with. So, her vision was basically my thoughts on vampires in general. Wait a second. If that's the case, then...then, that meant...oh my god!

"Edward's coming back?!" I just about caused the house to collapse with how loud I yelled it.

Alice looked taken back by my reaction. "I told him to keep his distance," she answered and then sighed unnecessarily."But you know how he is," she laughed and rolled her eyes.

Yeah, 'cause this was so the time to make a joke.

I shook my head in disbelief. "He's just asking for me to kill him."

"What are you talking about?" Alice asked, looking at me like I was a ghost or something.

Suddenly, having been in the same proximity as Alice for too long my control started to falter and it was out of my hands. I had never been around a vampire as long as I'd been around Alice now without killing it. So, it seemed that the vampire killing vampire in me was now wanting to take control. The human part of me was now losing control...and fast.

I started to shake, not being able to keep control of myself for much longer. "And, so are you," the vampire in me hissed.

Alice took a step back, which unintentionally by her turned out to be a good move. "Bella, what's wrong?" she asked me, still taking small steps backwards. "Are you okay?"

"You need to go!" the human part of me ordered.

"What...Bella..." she stopped and looked into my eyes. "Why are your eyes golden colored?" Alice asked, apparently having just now noticed them. "Bella?"

Shaking even more now than before trying not to go into kill mode, I ordered again. "Go now, Alice!"

"Bella!" she exclaimed. "This is crazy! What is..."

"Damn it!" I hissed. "BRIDGET!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, clenching my hands into fists.

Immediately, I heard Bridget's footsteps on the stairs. "Bella, calm down!" Bridget said, running over to me.

"What's..." I heard Alice start to ask.

Bridget cut her off and glared at her. "GET OUT NOW!" she hissed. "Can't you see she's losing control because you're here right now and can't take the freaking hint to leave?!"

Alice was wide-eyed and shocked, but did just as Bridget said with one last glance at me.

"Alright, Bella, calm down. Deep breaths," Bridget coached me.

I shook my head no. "I don't...I can't...have to kill...oh god...kill...have to..."

"Run!" Bridget yelled after Alice.

Apparently, she wasn't taking the situation as seriously as she should have.

"Bell, no," Bridget said, grabbing a hold of me and dragging me over to the couch. "You need to breathe, Bell," she said sitting down and pulling me with her. "Just calm down."

"It's just..." I started and then stopped.

The second the door shut and Alice was far enough away from the house, I calmed down.

"Hmm...well, what do you know?"

"What?" I asked, looking at her.

"You can actually be in the presence of a vampire without killing them."

"Seriously, Bridget?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

She gave me an "oops, sorry" look and asked, "Too soon?"

"You think?"

She shrugged. "Just trying to lighten the mood."

"I almost lost it and ended up killing her, Bridge!" I exclaimed.

"Almost being the keyword," Bridget reminded me.

"Yeah, but still too close."

Bridget sighed. "Looks like we'll have to make sure we're outside next time."

"What?" I asked, confused. "Next time?"

Bridget shook her head. "Obviously, Alice isn't just going to leave after what happened here."

"Oh, damn! I didn't think about that."

"But, I did."

"Well, at least one of us did."

"Alright, well I have to go finish getting ready," Bridget smiled, standing up.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, okay."

"Just steer clear of any vampires while I'm not around, okay?" she asked, winking at me. "Why don't you go see Jacob and fill him in on why Alice was here?"

"He just left," I told her.

She shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"So..."

Well, alright, there wasn't really a so.

"Besides, who knows when I'll be back," Bridget grinned, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"Oh, god! Bridge!" I moaned.

"What? I've got nothing to hide," she laughed as she left the room and went back upstairs to finish getting ready.

"Yeah, there's no denying that one," I muttered under my breath, shaking my head.

"I heard that!" Bridget called from upstairs.

"Maybe you were suppose to!" I yelled back.

Well, that confirms it. There's never a dull moment in my life anymore.

* * *

So, there it is, Chapter 21! Thoughts? So, Alice's vision...what are your thoughts? And, Bella's first battle of self control not to kill...what'd you think of it? Review, please?

Next chapter; Bella goes to see Jacob and tells him about Alice's visit and vision. Also, they finally get to talk.


	23. The Long Awaited Talk, Finally

_**Thank you all for your continued support for this story!**_

_**Here's a Jacob and Bella filled chapter. Hope you all enjoy it!**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Taking Bridget's advice, after she left for her date, or whatever the hell it was she had with Paul...quite frankly, I'd rather not know what exactly they had "planned." It'd probably give me nightmares or something. Well, actually, no. I'd known Bridget long enough to know what she's like, and I'd definitely end up with some nightmares if I knew what was going on with them. It's kind of sad, but true.

Anyways, once Bridget left, I decided to go see Jake.

I would never admit it out loud, but I wasn't too fond of the idea of being away from him for too long. I don't know if it was the new blood bond or something else, but what I did know was that I didn't like being away for too long. Maybe it was my fear of somehow losing him again? I just couldn't imagine having something happen that ended up with us having to go through what we'd went through since I returned.

I'd sooner die than go through that again.

It didn't take me long to arrive at the house. I parked where I usually parked and then made a beeline for the front door. No sooner had I raised my hand to knock had the door flung open. I just about fell into him, but thanks to his hard body, I didn't get far.

"Just couldn't stay away from me for too long, could you?" he grinned down at me.

"You wish," I teased, throwing my arms around him.

"No, I know," he corrected me.

"Oh, really?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Yes, really," he answered, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine.

"Well, if you say so," I grinned before allowing myself to get lost in the kiss.

Before I even realized it, we had ended up back in Jacob's bedroom and on the mattress that was still on the floor. Apparently, fixing or replacing the bed hadn't been on the top of his "to do" list.

Just as I felt Jacob's hand go up under my shirt, one of the few reasons that I'd come here now for came back to me.

"Hey, Jake," I said, pulling away from him.

"Yeah?" he asked, looking down at me.

"Before this gets any farther than it already has..." I trailed off, pushing him off of me.

Jacob rolled over and laid down next to me.

Of all the times we had to have this talk. But, we'd been putting it off for too long already. It was about time that we had it. Just to get it out-of-the-way and all.

"We should talk about things," I finally finished with a sigh. "I mean, really talk."

"Okay, agreed."

"Alright, well, this may prove to be a stupid idea on my part, but..."

"But, what?" he asked, sitting up and turning towards me...well, as much as he could with how small the bed was.

"But, I think we should slow down," I said quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.

Please don't me for this. Oh, god. Please, please, please don't hate me.

"Slow down?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I nodded my head.

"Umm...okay. Why?"

"Well, we did all this backwards," I answered, honestly.

I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair.

"What do you mean?" he asked, curiously.

"We did this all backwards," I repeated.

"Yeah, I heard that part the first time," he told me. "I mean, how so? How did we do this backwards?"

I looked at him and gave him an apologetic look as I answered, "We slept together first."

He gave me a confused look back. "And, that's a bad thing?"

"No!" I exclaimed, shaking my head. "Of course, not!"

"Then, what are you getting at?"

"What I'm trying to say is that we should have worked on getting our friendship back to where it was before everything happened how it did," I answered, silently cursing my inability to just get straight to the point in such an important situation. "And, we should have worked up to sex, instead of jumping at it the first chance we got," I finished my explanation.

"Oh," Jacob said and then silently thought about what I had said for a few moments. What he said next actually surprised me. "That would've probably been the wise thing to do," he agreed.

My eyes widened. "Seriously? You actually agree with me?"

He shook his head. "In a way, what you're saying makes sense. We did skip the friendship rebuilding and go straight to the sex. I mean, I had barely even been out of a relationship yet..."

I cringed.

"You know it's true," Jacob said, placing a hand on my arm.

"Yeah, I know," I replied, quietly.

I still felt slightly bad about the timing of everything. I just couldn't help it.

"But, yeah, I understand where you're coming from."

I sighed in relief. "Oh, thank god!"

Jacob laughed briefly. "What? Did you think I'd react differently?"

"Maybe."

He shook his head and chuckled. "You should know me better than that."

"You would think," I said. "Hence, we should probably try dating and get re-acclimated to one another."

Jacob smiled. "Alright, let's do it."

"Really?"

"Didn't we just go through this?"

I slapped him playfully on the arm. "I was just double checking."

"Alright, then. I will double agree with you."

I rolled my eyes at him. "How nice of you."

"I think so," he said, winking at me, hovering over me again.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "Nothing."

"Liar."

"Maybe."

I couldn't help but giggle. "So, we'll start over, then. Be friends...who date, but don't have sex first...and work our way back up to where we were the other night."

"Okay. If that's what you want," Jacob said, nodding his head.

I shook my head quickly. "No, Jake!"

"What?" he asked, looking confused.

"We both have to want this," I told him. "I don't want to make you do something you don't want to. Same goes with you agreeing with this just because you think it's what I want."

Jacob sighed. "Bells, I want to," he assured me. "Anything that has to do with you, I'm absolutely fine with. I want this, too. I promise you."

I smiled. "You are so great."

"I try."

"I know you do," I agreed, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him down into a passionate, loving kiss.

After a few minutes of making out, Jacob pulled away.

"What?" I asked when I saw the look on his face.

"I almost forgot..." he trailed off.

"Almost forgot what?"

"What happened earlier with Alice after I left?"

"Oh, right," I said.

Then, I proceeded to tell him all about what happened and the vision that brought Alice back here. Needless to say, we got a pretty good laugh thanks to the latter.

'Cause, really? Why would anyone with Alice's ability be stupid enough to come investigate after having already seen that someone was gonna get killed. I mean, it doesn't take a genius to know to stay away when something like that happens. Well, one would think. But, apparently not in this case.

Hence, we got a big laugh out of it.

* * *

There it is, Chapter 22! Thoughts? Review, please?

Next chapter; Alice has returned and now Bella finds herself flashing back to what happened in Volterra.


	24. Flashback to Volterra

_**Thanks so much for your continued support for this story!**_

_**I know this chapter is another short one, but I figured that two chapters in one day would make up for that, right?**_

_**Also, I'm not really sure if this is what you were all expecting to have happened in Volterra, but hopefully it's good enough.**_

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing, but the plot. All else is SM's...even though part of me wishes it could be mine._

* * *

**Chapter 23**

Later that night, I returned home to a dark and quiet house. Bridget was still out with Paul. Charlie was either still at work or asleep. And, I was either way all by myself. Which turned out to not be the best thing. Being all alone with myself now gave me a lot of time to think and lose myself in the past.

I wanted so badly to forget everything that happened in Volterra, and I'd done any and everything I could in order to do just that. But, the darkness, and the silence...it all got to be too much. The guard that I had put up ever since my escape from Volterra was quickly crashing down.

Hoping to somehow wash the troubles away from me, I went to take a shower. I stood under the stream of water with it on as hot as it could go. I didn't care that I could possibly burn myself if I stood here for too long. I just wanted to escape somehow. Alice's return had brought back the memories that I had so badly wanted to forget for good.

But, now...I just couldn't get away from them.

**~CCC~**

_I had known it all along. It was just a gut feeling. I wasn't leaving Volterra anytime soon. And, it didn't take long for me to be proven right. The "nice guy" act that Aro was acting out...yeah, I didn't buy it for a second. Especially not after the look he gave me when he realized that no powers worked on me. I could just see it in his eyes that he was planning something. And, whatever it was...it wasn't going to be good at all._

_"I'll make you all a deal," Aro said, looking from Alice to Edward and then to me._

_I swallowed hard upon seeing the sadistic look on his face. It sent chills through me. No pun intended._

_"A deal?" Edward asked him, sounding shocked._

_"You don't make deals," Alice stated, sounding just as shocked._

_"I do when they work in my favor," Aro smirked._

_More shivers ran through me. I didn't like where this was going one bit._

_"What's the deal?" Alice dared to ask._

_Aro's smirk grew. "Join us and the girl goes free," he answered, and then turned to look at me. "Just like that."_

_Liar!_

_"Absolutely not!" Edward wasted no time exclaiming._

_Yeah, not gonna hap...wait, what?!_

_"We're not going to join you," Alice and Edward both hissed._

_I was shocked beyond belief once I actually realized what was happening._

_Even Aro seemed slightly taken back. "Not even to save the girl that you supposedly love so much?"_

_Yeah, I would like to know that answer to. _

_I couldn't stop the disgusted look that overtook my face as I stared shocked at both Alice and Edward._

_"We don't believe you," Edward spoke glaring at Aro._

_"You wouldn't keep your end of the deal," Alice said. "We know you better than you think."_

_A few moments of silence passed before Aro laughed. "Alright, yeah, you got me there. I have a better plan."_

_"Wait, what?" all of us asked in unison._

_"Take the girl," Aro ordered._

_In an instant, I felt cold hands on both of my arms. I began kicking and trying to get out of their grasps but it was no use._

_"Edward! Alice!" I exclaimed._

_"Bella!"_

_Before either of them could do anything they began screaming and holding their heads as Jane performed her headache power thing on them._

_"No!" I screamed. "Let me go!"_

_After that, the worst of the worst happened. I was dragged the whole way and thrown into a dark cell like thing. I had no idea what was going to happen. Quite frankly, I would've done or said anything in order to still never know what was going to happen._

_For the first few months of my torture and own personal hell, Aro kept Edward and Alice prisoners as well. Every time a new vampire with a power would be brought in, he'd force them to watch as the vampire tried to use their power on me and then when it failed would beat and bite me. There wasn't a damn thing anyone could do to help me. Aro made sure of it._

_After the first few months, Aro let Alice and Edward go. Just like that. He banned them from ever returning and threatened that they'd die along with me if they tried. When Aro told me while laughing in my face and I asked him why he let them go his explanation was that __it'd be entertaining to watch over Edward and Alice while they know exactly what's happening to me. And, they can't do a damn thing to stop it from happening and save me._

_Plus, of course, Aro really to know if my shield worked on all vampire powers._

_Hence, the continued experiments up until I was rescued._

**_~CCC~_**

By the time I snapped out of my flashback and I returned to reality, tears were pouring down my face and I was curled up into a ball on the floor of the shower, rocking myself back and forth.

Everything that I had spent doing the past eight months in order to try and forget...well, as much as I could forget...it was all ruined. Just like that. The darkness and silence had finally gotten to me and thrown me for a loop.

"Bell!" I suddenly heard from outside the bathroom door. "Bella, it's Bridget!"

I wasn't in any state to say anything back to her.

"I'm coming in, okay?" she asked.

I tried to reply, but nothing came out.

Sensing that I couldn't say anything back, Bridget didn't wait any longer before she threw the door open and came in.

"Oh, Bell," she said, seeing me in the awful state that I was in.

She reached in and turned off the water.

The whole time I just kept on rocking myself back and forth as the tears continued to pour out of my eyes.

"Come on, Bell," she spoke quietly as she put a towel around me and helped me stand up. "I came as soon as I sensed something was wrong."

I managed to smile briefly and gratefully at her even despite my tears and the feeling of not being the least bit in a happy mind set right now.

"Y...you d...didn't..." I tried to speak, but it just came out in stutters.

"No need to say a word, Bell," she told me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and leading me to my bedroom. "You always come first to me, and you know it.

"Thank you, Bridge," I whispered, wiping at my face and eyes.

"You're welcome, Bell," she replied, going about helping me get ready for bed.

Without a doubt, if Bridget wasn't around, I would've lost myself completely months ago.

* * *

There it is, Chapter 23! Thoughts? Review, please?

Next chapter; Alice isn't the only Cullen who has returned. And, they want to meet up. Plus, a challenge!


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